- Don’t Take It Personally. As difficult as it is, don’t take your coworker’s actions personally. …
- Develop Rapport. …
- Stand Up for Yourself. …
- Practice Empathy. …
- Practice Self-regulation. …
- Hone Your Self-awareness. …
- Get Support.
Office Politics – How to Deal with Difficult People at Work
Why are some colleagues difficult to work with?
Others may seem to present you with a personal challenge, while some of your coworkers may struggle to get along with anyone else at work. There are probably one or two people you have trouble working with wherever you work. Here are a few typical explanations for why people might not get along:
How to work with difficult people
It’s essential to develop the ability to deal with and manage challenging people in the workplace. Follow these guidelines to manage difficult relationships successfully and achieve success at work:
1. Examine your reaction
First, be aware of any times when you react to someone else’s behavior. Determine what behavior, action, or inaction is causing you to feel that way, such as anger, disgust, or resentment. Spend some time determining the causes and effects so you can choose the most effective course of action.
Example: “Pat trimming their fingernails at their desk annoys me,” “.
2. Stay calm
Keep your composure when the behavior or action occurs, especially if it repeats itself. Remind yourself that expressing your anger rarely results in a solution and that it’s preferable to deal with the situation when your emotions are under control. Remove yourself from the situation if the behavior is particularly distracting.
For instance, “I hate it when Pam talks over other people in meetings.” When I’m feeling strongly, I can’t solve the problem, so when I’m in control of my emotions, I need to maintain my composure and think through the best course of action. “.
3. Share your feelings with a friend
Find a reliable coworker or friend outside of your company to discuss the situation with the challenging coworker. Tell them what they did or did not do that bothered you and how you responded to it. Determine a few management strategies, seek advice or direction, and
Example: You: “My coworker is a very pessimistic person. Every time we receive a new assignment, they moan about how much time and work it will require rather than being happy that they were selected to work on it or appreciating the chance it presents for the business. I feel foolish for being excited and for not being able to express my optimism. “.
Friend: “That sounds frustrating. What can you do to feel better?”.
You: “I could share my optimism, anyway. Unless absolutely necessary, I could also avoid discussing new projects with this coworker. “.
4. Avoid when possible
You might be able to manage potential conflict by avoiding the behavior or circumstance with the challenging coworker, depending on the circumstances. If possible, try this approach.
For instance, “I know Marge will have tuna salad for lunch at her desk, and I detest the smell of tuna.” To avoid having to smell Marges lunch, I’ll eat in the break room. “.
5. Discuss the issue privately
It’s best to deal with the challenging coworker directly if you can’t avoid the situation or it keeps you from staying focused on your work. When possible, do so in private to spare your colleague any embarrassment. Make a plan for your remarks so that you are prepared for the conversation.
Example: “John consistently arrives late to our planning meetings, putting undue stress on the rest of the team.” I need to talk to John about the behavior as the team leader so that we can meet our deadlines. “.
6. Be empathetic
During your conversation, be empathetic. It’s possible that your coworker is unaware of the behavior or action that is worrying you. Focus on your point of view and feelings rather than theirs and make observations rather than judgments.
For instance, “I enjoy hearing about your weekend, Ryan, but I’m currently dealing with a really busy schedule.” Instead of during rush hour in the morning, I would love to hear about your adventures during lunch. “.
7. Seek common ground
Take into account what you’re willing to do to contribute to the solution if the situation calls for a compromise from both of you. Keep in mind that you and your colleague are members of the same team.
Example: “I reviewed our records and finished the department’s last three monthly reports.” I would be happy to create a schedule if that will help you contribute, but since we are both responsible for the report, how can we find a better way to share and delegate this task? “.
8. Remain respectful
When you inform your coworker of a negative action or behavior, they may feel ashamed or embarrassed. Treat them with respect, regardless of their reaction. Terminate the conversation and leave the situation if they don’t treat you with respect.
Example: Your coworker: “Wow, I had no idea that listening to music while working was so distracting. Im really embarrassed. “.
You: “No need to feel embarrassed — you didnt know!”
9. Know what to ask
Prior to your conversation, prepare your questions for your colleague. In this manner, if they experience stress, you can advise them to try to change their behavior.
Example: “I’ve noticed you arrive at the sales meeting late on the days you go out to lunch.” On meeting days, could you try leaving for lunch a little earlier so our team can start on time?
10. Know when to address matters publicly
Sometimes a coworker will cross the line by saying or doing something improper. Instead of waiting to have a private conversation, it is usually preferable in these situations to address the behavior right away, even if it is in front of other employees.
Example: “That joke is offensive and inappropriate. Please dont make comments like that. “.
11. Include your manager
When all other self-management techniques have failed, such as ignoring the behavior, developing management strategies, and having private discussions, it’s time to involve your manager. You should immediately involve your manager if the behavior is egregious or dangerous; do not worry about resolving the conflict on your own first. Create a plan before your meeting, much like you would for a private conversation, so you know what information you want to share and what result you are seeking.
Example: “When they arrived at the job site this morning, I saw that Alice wasn’t wearing the proper safety gear.” Concerned about their safety as well as the example it will set for other workers They haven’t changed their behavior despite my previous attempts to talk to them about it. Can you have a conversation with Alice?”.
How do you handle difficult persons?
- Be calm. …
- Understand the person’s intentions. …
- Get some perspective from others. …
- Let the person know where you are coming from. …
- Build a rapport. …
- Treat the person with respect. …
- Focus on what can be actioned upon. …
How do you respond to a difficult coworker?
- Listen– try to hear what they are really upset about.
- If you see that things are quickly getting out of hand, remain as calm as you can.
- Don’t Judge– try not to judge this person.
How do you deal with an unfriendly person at work?
- Learn to voice your thoughts. …
- Get to know their perspective. …
- Focus on your positive relationships. …
- Talk to your supervisor. …
- Accept their personality. …
- Stay neutral at work. …
- Limit your interactions. …
- Be a better person.