Managing Workplace Challenges: 14 Strategies for Handling Difficult Coworkers

Difficult people are everywhere. At the grocery store, at the gym, even walking down the street. The cool thing about these difficult people, though, is that you can walk away and probably won’t run into them again!

However, when you’re working with difficult people…well, that’s something different. Yes, you can walk away, but the odds are you’re going to run into them again (and again and again).

Fortunately, there are some direct and gentle ways to handle difficult people at work and, hopefully, change your relationship for the better. Here’s what you need to know.

Dealing with problematic personalities is an inevitable part of any workplace. Difficult coworkers come in many varieties – the constant complainer, the overly critical micromanager, the office bully, the gossip spreader, or the distractingly noisy chatterbox Learning to handle trying colleagues professionally is crucial for your own sanity and success Use these 14 strategies to maintain composure and tactfully address prickly people issues.

Common Difficult Behaviors and Personality Types

Before diving into techniques, let’s first define what makes someone “difficult” in the office Typically it means displaying one or more of these unprofessional behaviors consistently

  • Rudeness, insults, yelling, vulgarity, aggression
  • Undermining colleagues, spreading rumors
  • Refusal to collaborate or compromise
  • Overbearing micromanagement
  • Chronic resistance to new ways of thinking
  • Passive-aggressiveness, giving the silent treatment
  • Lateness, missing deadlines, ignoring requests
  • Inappropriate remarks or jokes
  • Distracting noisiness or failure to respect others’ personal space

You’ll also encounter certain problematic personality types frequently:

  • The Complainer – Gripes about everything, nothing is ever good enough.
  • The Micromanager – Hovers, over-scrutinizes, and challenges others’ judgment.
  • The Slacker – Habitually late, misses deadlines, only does bare minimum.
  • The Bully – Intimidates, belittles, and seeks to control colleagues.
  • The Gossip – Spreads rumors, confidential info, or negative commentary.
  • The Free Spirit – Prioritizes fun over work, flouts rules and structure.
  • The Wallflower – Avoids collaboration, interaction, speaking in meetings.
  • The Egomaniac – Arrogant, self-promoting, and unwilling to hear others’ views.

Why Difficult Colleagues Must Be Addressed

Problematic behaviors drag down individual and team performance. But beyond just productivity issues, difficult personalities create real mental and physical strain if left unmanaged. The ripple effects include:

  • Toxic culture spreading anxiety and mistrust
  • Other colleagues mimicking bad conduct
  • Poor communication and collaboration
  • Aggravating nitpicking and distractions
  • Resentment sabotaging morale and camaraderie
  • Gossip generating rumors and unnecessary drama
  • Ongoing stress-related health impacts

Bottom line, unresolved problematic behaviors decay team cohesion and performance. Although dealing with difficult personas is uncomfortable, it’s critical for your team’s emotional health and function.

14 Tactics for Professionally Managing Difficult Colleagues

When faced with a difficult coworker, use these tactics to address issues constructively:

1. Assess if this is truly a “difficult” person.

Consider whether their troubling behavior is a one-off occurrence or an ongoing pattern. We all have bad days or make mistakes. Wait to see if problems persist before labeling someone as truly problematic.

2. Reflect on your own possible role.

Think honestly about whether your actions or communication style might be contributing to the difficulties in your relationship. Be open to your part in tensions.

3. Don’t react in the heat of the moment.

When emotions are high, wait until you cool down before attempting to discuss any problems. Avoid hasty reactions.

4. Pick your battles wisely.

Decide which issues are disruptive enough to warrant direct feedback. Let minor slights go to focus on patterns of damaging behaviors.

5. Set behavioral expectations upfront.

Clearly explain from the outset how you want to communicate and collaborate to prevent future issues.

6. Address problems privately at first.

Don’t publicly call out a colleague. Speak to them one-on-one to provide direct feedback about their troubling behaviors.

7. Share specific examples.

When discussing problems, provide concrete instances of unacceptable conduct. Generalizations are unhelpful.

8. Use “I feel…” statements.

Use “I feel concerned when…” rather than accusatory “You did…” statements. This reduces defensiveness.

9. Focus on resolving, not blaming.

Make the conversation about collaboratively improving professionalism, not attacking the person or assigning fault.

10. Involve HR or leadership if needed.

If efforts to provide constructive feedback fail, don’t hesitate to escalate matters to supervisors or HR.

11. Limit time together if possible.

Until problems improve, minimize contact. Communicate only as needed for work via email or in group settings.

12. Model outstanding professionalism.

Set the example through exceptional communication, collaboration and conduct – even if they do not.

13. Lean on your support network.

Vent politely to trusted allies. Build resilience through healthy stress outlets like exercise.

14. Document everything.

Keep detailed written records of each concerning interaction, including dates, times, witnesses.

The key is addressing issues promptly, directly and politely. Difficult people often aren’t even aware of their impact. Give them the benefit of the doubt and professionally share how their behaviors affect you, others, and the whole team’s performance. With patience and consistent reinforcement of expectations, problematic conduct typically improves.

But if certain colleagues remain troublesome despite your best efforts, don’t hesitate to involve leadership or HR. You deserve to work in an environment free from hostility and toxicity.

Self-Assessment to Enhance Your Own Emotional Intelligence

Before feeling too frustrated with a difficult coworker’s lack of self-awareness, engage in self-reflection:

  • Could I better empathize with their perspective?
  • Do I model composure even in tense moments?
  • What triggers defensiveness or impatience in me?
  • Are there positive qualities I can focus on in this person?
  • How do my words/actions contribute to problems?
  • Am I judging someone’s personality rather their behavior?

This introspection strengthens your own emotional intelligence and equips you to influence change in others. Lead by example.

Proactive Steps to Discourage Office Incivility

In addition to properly addressing individual issues, you can help proactively enhance workplace culture:

  • Host values sessions. Facilitate team talks on what conduct members want to uphold, like respect and inclusion. Review policies.

  • Praise positive behaviors publicly. When you notice colleagues demonstrating professionalism, give “shout outs” in meetings.

  • Model exceptional conduct. Set the tone you wish to see with your own communication, attitude and actions.

  • Address problems promptly. Don’t allow toxic behaviors to become habit or infect others. Speak up professionally right away.

  • Suggest trainings. Recommend workshops on diversity, anti-bullying efforts, communication, emotional intelligence, conflict resolution, etc.

  • Share your own reflections. Tactfully discuss lessons you’ve learned managing difficult emotions or personalities.

With some concerted personal development and courageous conversations, you can significantly uplift your workplace culture. Don’t allow problematic behaviors to become the norm. Diplomatically yet directly address issues while also enhancing colleagues’ emotional intelligence and professionalism. You can make a world of difference.

FAQs About Handling Difficult Coworkers

Here are answers to common questions about managing problematic office personalities:

What if my supervisor is the difficult one?

This is challenging. Tactfully address problems with your boss directly first. If no change, consult HR.

How should I handle retaliation after giving feedback?

If a difficult coworker retaliates after you voice concerns, immediately notify your manager or HR.

What if a colleague denies there are any issues?

Politely redirect them to focus on resolving the problems rather than debating whether the issues exist. Provide factual examples. Suggest working together to improve professionalism.

What if I suspect racism, sexism or other biases at play?

This should always be reported promptly to HR, along with documentation. But speak only about your own experiences, not patterns against others.

What if my teammate just has a personality clash with me?

Personality differences are typically manageable. Identify work styles and communication preferences. Agree to respectful rules of engagement.

What if I’m required to collaborate closely with this difficult person?

Establish clear expectations and boundaries. Involve your mutual manager to help monitor interactions.

Should I look for a new job to escape the situation?

While it may seem simpler to leave, you will inevitably encounter difficult personalities anywhere. Address issues properly to gain skills managing challenges.

What if speaking up just seems too hard right now?

Self-care comes first. If you are not in an emotional space to address problems constructively, focus on replenishing your own resilience before engaging.

What if I lose my temper when confronting them?

Never confront a difficult colleague when emotions are running high or you feel unable to stay calm and professional. Give yourself time to cool down first.

With practice, you can become skilled at handing

how to deal with difficult people at work

— Address the Facts

As you’re discussing things, don’t get personal. Instead, stick to the facts to help you keep things professional and keep the other person from going on the defensive.

For example, if your coworker doesn’t deliver their part of the project to you on time, don’t say, “You always deliver your work late. You’re such a problem.” Instead, try something like, “I may have misunderstood something, but I expected that report yesterday. When can I expect it?”

— Let It Go

Let go of the belief that it’s your responsibility to change the difficult person. It’s not! They are adults and making a choice. Your choice is to let it go!

How to Deal with Difficult People | Jay Johnson | TEDxLivoniaCCLibrary

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