10 steps for handling unrealistic expectations at work

You probably grew up with parents or teachers who promoted optimism because they wanted you to consider possibilities and experience success. Perhaps they told you that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to.

But as an adult, you’ve probably learned the hard lesson that sometimes your goals are beyond your power of will.

Experts generally consider optimism a beneficial trait. It can increase your capacity for handling pressure and controlling both physical and emotional discomfort.

You can’t control every situation in life. You’ll likely experience some disappointment when your expectations for yourself—or anyone else—fall in circumstances that are beyond your control.

You’ll find some advice below if you’re interested in learning more about the effects of having irrational expectations or want to know how to keep a more objective viewpoint.

There is no clear-cut definition of when hope and optimism turn into unrealistic expectations, but examining some prevalent examples can provide some guidance

But first, let’s define expectations: They are goals or benefits you anticipate receiving from life.

Some of your goals may be things you can definitely accomplish. An example of a perfectly reasonable expectation would be, “My partner and I can resolve most minor relationship conflicts with good communication,” ”.

Perhaps you actually do show up at work when you say you will. You come in early and stay late. You put everything into it, volunteering to assist coworkers and raising new ideas.

And yet, someone with more seniority gets that promotion. You receive a lot of positive feedback during your annual review, but only a small pay raise.

Most people want to think that their efforts are worthwhile, which is understandable. Without this expectation, you might feel less motivated to try. But it just doesn’t always work out that way.

Some individuals think that if they are kind, people will like them. Kindness goes a long way, and it’s safe to assume that most people will view you more favorably if you’re kind than if you’re unkind.

You’ll encounter a lot of people with wildly diverse personalities throughout your life. You might be that one person who gets along with everyone they meet, but this is more of an anomaly than a rule.

You might think, “I’ve never felt this way before — I don’t see how we’d ever fight,” at the beginning of a new relationship. ” But it happens, even in the strongest, healthiest relationships.

You won’t always agree with your partner because you are two different people. Spending a lot of time together can highlight differences between opposing viewpoints that already exist.

The benefit of conflict is that it is a perfectly normal, even healthy, component of interpersonal relationships. Since you can express your opinions and frustrations to each other when you disagree, it proves that you are comfortable with each other.

A more reasonable expectation might center on using effective conflict resolution to handle any significant disagreements.

Perhaps your relationship needs certain things from you, like more intimacy or spontaneous romance. Your relationship is strengthened because you put a priority on finding ways to talk to your partner about these (realistic) expectations.

Less realistic expectations could lead to you putting forth a lot of effort in vain. Failure to live up to an expectation, such as winning the lottery or falling in love right away with the person of your dreams, can lead to disappointment, self-criticism, and even depression.

If you believe that you will never be able to fulfill your personal goals, you may eventually give up.

Despite the fact that your loved ones did nothing to violate your trust, you might start to lose faith in them.

All of these feelings are common, but if they frequently appear in your life, it may be time to reevaluate your expectations.

These suggestions can assist you in rephrasing your expectations if you’ve noticed that some of them are leaning toward the unrealistic end of the spectrum.

Expectations often stem from visions other people have for you. Even if they don’t really align with your personal hopes, you might still take these in and use them moving forward.

As you start to reevaluate your goals for the future, ask yourself if they actually align with you.

If they wouldn’t make you happy and fulfilled, you might find it easier to let them go and redirect your attention to redefining the goals that really matter.

1. Practice setting and enforcing boundaries. …
2. Consider your supervisor’s intentions. …
3. Solicit help from your coworkers to reach goals. …
4. Meet with your supervisor and offer feedback. …
5. Create a workflow timeline that can help you succeed.

Unrealistic Expectations at Work and how to DEAL WITH THEM

Expectations: Two Sides of the Same Coin

Both manager and employee enter the workplace with certain expectations. These expectations are at the center of a lot of the manager-employee interactions.

Nobody can deny that managers require their staff to perform at a certain level. But far too frequently, managers tend to overstep their bounds and demand more from employees than is reasonable or realistic (often without their knowledge). And we see this in teams of all sizes.

First of all, it’s critical to emphasize how crucial honesty is in the “expectations” game. Honesty toward your manager, and even more importantly, to yourself.

Some people may find it all too easy to wave the banner of “immaturely high expectations.” ” This is where honest self-criticism comes into play. Consider whether what is being asked of you is actually impossible (and honestly try to answer) before responding. If the expectation is unreasonable, you must correct the record; see more on this below.

Setting the Stage: Why Do Unrealistic Expectations Happen?

Yes, some managers are overbearing and demand too much of their staff. There is no getting around the fact that bad bosses do exist.

But unrealistic expectations frequently result from a breakdown in open and honest communication. Consider your previous best manager: Did your relationship with him allow you to express yourself when you felt overwhelmed and were you both on the same page?

The effective managers are the ones that encourage an open, transparent workplace. Where the employee feels comfortable saying, “Hey, this doesn’t seem like something we can handle right now. Can we reassess?”

But there is a characteristic shared by all managers who routinely make impossible demands. Nearly all of them disregard the opinions of their workers or direct reports.

Here are 6 ways for employees to deal with unreasonable expectations at work.

When employers and managers put too much pressure on workers, it can backfire in a big way.

You’re not alone if you’re anxious about your job; according to recent research, more than half of workers experience daily stress at work.

A 2021 survey by Gallup found that 57% of U.S. workers are stressed out. That’s significantly higher than the 43% of workers across the globe who reported feeling chronic stress. In fact, North America was by far the continent where employees were most strained.

The main sources of stress for workers are heavy workloads, tight deadlines, unreasonable expectations from superiors, and the pressure to strike a healthy work-life balance. Employees frequently list significant stressors related to the coronavirus pandemic, such as business closures and shifts to remote work. [Stressed out? Check out these steps to eliminate workplace stress. ].

People who work for overly demanding bosses typically feel frustrated that their efforts are not rewarded, and as a result, they are unlikely to continue to pump out high quality work, Friedman says. “While a little bit of pressure can inspire workers to rise to the challenge,” “There is a big difference between healthy competition and infighting in the workplace, and a bad boss can also cause employees to turn against one another as they try to appease management.” ”.

Another outcome is that you may be more upset with yourself than your boss as a result of the tension between needing to perform well to avoid coming across as incompetent and upsetting your boss by speaking up, says Taylor. It’s annoying because you feel unable to initiate conflict and demand reasonable expectations. Until you develop the courage to address the issue head-on, you might fear retaliation, passive-aggressive fallout, losing your job’s status or exciting projects, or even being fired, which is a tricky situation. ”.

Suzana Simic, manager of career services at Computer Systems Institute, adds: “Overly demanding bosses seem to regard their employees as dispensable commodities, rather than assets. With that being said, it can be extremely difficult to help solve a problem or prevent one from occurring when an employee feels bogged down by their overly demanding boss.” Employees of an overly demanding boss may also feel as though nothing they accomplish is ever enough, she says. “When an overly demanding boss comes into the room, the employees’ demeanor changes to one filled with stress and apprehension. Employees become weighed down with ‘pleasing’ the overly demanding boss, and they may create errors based on trying to be perfect.”

An overly demanding boss doesn’t empathize or understand what’s required for you to deliver results, and he will keep pushing you until you take action, adds Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert and author of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant; How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job.

An overly demanding boss can be very challenging to work for, and his actions might lead to an increase in stress levels, a drop in morale, and a decrease in productivity.

FAQ

How do you manage your expectations at work?

1. Remember, You Have the Authority to Say No. Saying no at work can seem taboo.
2. Ask clarifying questions. …
3. Don’t Rush to agree. …
4. Propose a reasonable compromise. …
5. Explain the consequences.

How do you deal with a boss with high expectations?

1. Don’t take it personally. …
2. Consider why your boss is being so demanding. …
3. Don’t be a punching bag. …
4. Gently confront the boss. …
5. Listen and repeat. …
6. Set mutual expectations and priorities. …
7. Stay positive. …
8. Be a problem-solver, not a problem-maker.

How do you handle unrealistic demands?

1. Step Into Their Shoes. …
2. Be All Ears. …
3. De-escalate if Necessary. …
4. Be Transparent. …
5. Take Ownership of the Issue. …
6. Iron Out Next Steps. …
7. Follow Through.

What is the best way to handle the demands of others that are unrealistic and of low personal priority?

1. Difficult vs. Unrealistic: Recognize the Difference.
2. Address It Quickly.
3. Offer Explanations, Not Excuses.
4. Focus on Quality.
5. Ask for Help.
6. Make Exceptions.
7. Chrissy Scivicque, the founder of EatYourCareer. com, believes work can be a nourishing life experience.