For many people, saying “Im sorry” after certain situations, even those that dont require an apology, is second nature. But over-apologizing can backfire, especially in the workplace: It can make others think less of you, lower your self-esteem, and water down the impact of future apologies.
The habit can come from a place of insecurity, and it can be especially common among women and people of color, says to Patrice Williams Lindo, CEO of Career Nomad, a career consulting firm.
“We are taught culturally, especially from a Black womans perspective, to be super humble and to downplay our wins. Thats how I was raised,” Lindo says. “It was a problem to be prideful in the way you spoke about yourself and your accomplishments. So we feel inadequate and insecure.”
The need to over-apologize is born from this pattern of self-doubt — and recognizing situations when you should and shouldnt say “Im sorry” is one of the first steps to finding better phrases to use instead, Lindo says.
Here are three common scenarios where you might be tempted to over-apologize, and what to consider saying instead.
Email has become one of the most common mediums of communication in the workplace. According to a [study], the average office worker sends and receives up to 122 emails per day, with many of those emails containing some form of apology or expression of regret.
Saying “sorry” repeatedly in emails however can portray you as unconfident, indecisive, or incompetent. Overusing apologies gives the impression that you have made frequent mistakes and chips away at your credibility.
Fortunately, there are plenty of more professional-sounding alternatives to repeatedly saying “I’m sorry” in work emails. Here are 18 better ways to express regret or apologize in an email without using the word “sorry”:
1. Thank the recipient for their patience.
Rather than apologizing for the delay, thank the recipient for their patience and understanding. For example
“Thank you for your patience as I gathered the information you requested.”
This shows appreciation for their time and focuses on the positive.
2. Take responsibility.
Instead of just saying sorry admit your mistake and explain how you are going to remedy it. For example
“I made a mistake on that report. Let me re-check the numbers and get a revised version to you by this afternoon.”
Taking ownership builds trust.
3. Acknowledge the inconvenience.
Empathize with the inconvenience you may have caused the recipient. For example:
“I understand this delay has created some inconveniences for you, and I appreciate you working with me to get this resolved promptly.”
4. Offer to make amends.
Provide solutions and offer to take steps to make up for any problems you have caused. For example:
“To make up for the delay, I’d be happy to expedite this request for you.”
5. Express regret.
Use phrases like “I regret…” or “Unfortunately…” to convey apology. For example:
“I regret that I am unable to attend our meeting tomorrow.”
6. Thank them for their understanding.
If you’ve made a mistake, thank the recipient for their patience and understanding. For example:
“Thank you for your understanding. I will ensure this does not happen again in the future.”
7. Offer to discuss further.
If the issue warrants more discussion, offer to chat or jump on a call to talk through it. For example:
8. Promise it won’t happen again.
Assure the recipient this will not happen again by saying something like:
“I will implement more review processes to ensure this does not occur again moving forward.”
9. Ask how you can improve.
Solicit feedback on how your processes can be improved so similar issues are prevented. For example:
10. Express appreciation.
Thank the recipient for bringing the issue to your attention. For example:
“I appreciate you bringing this to my attention. It will help me improve my process.”
11. Offer to rectify the situation.
Proactively offer solutions to rectify the situation. For example:
“To make this right, I can re-send the file by noon or schedule a call to walk through it together.”
12. Acknowledge the recipient’s perspective.
Demonstrate that you understand the recipient’s point of view. For example:
“I understand your frustration with how this was handled. You have a valid perspective.”
13. Promise better quality/service in the future.
Assure the recipient that you will improve going forward. For example:
“I promise I will deliver higher quality work/better service moving forward.”
14. Ask for guidance.
Solicit input from the recipient on how to handle similar situations properly in the future. For example:
“Could you provide guidance on the proper protocol, so I handle situations like this correctly moving forward?”
15. Use “I wish” or “I’d like to…”
Soften apologies by using I wish/I’d like to language. For example:
“I wish I could have gotten you that report sooner.”
“I’d like to find a way to prevent delays like this in the future.”
16. Request their understanding.
Politely ask for their patience and grace under the circumstances. For example:
“I request your understanding as we work through this issue.”
17. Say you’re following up.
If you are late getting back to someone, simply state you are following up and provide the response. For example:
“Following up on your request below with the attached document.”
No need to acknowledge the delay.
18. Blame the technology.
If a technological glitch caused the issue, politely blame the tech. For example:
The key is owning up to your mistakes without overly apologizing. We all make mistakes, but excessive sorries in emails can undermine your professionalism.
Next time you want to type “I’m sorry” or “My apologies,” consider using one of these 18 alternatives instead to express regret while maintaining your credibility. With some thoughtfulness and minor wording adjustments, you can minimize unnecessary apologies.
In Summary
- Avoid overusing “sorry” in emails to prevent appearing unconfident.
- Take responsibility, acknowledge inconvenience, and offer amends.
- Express regret politely using phrases like “I regret…” or “Unfortunately…”
- Thank recipients for their patience, understanding, and feedback.
- Promise it won’t happen again and offer solutions.
- Solicit guidance on proper protocols for future situations.
- Soften apologies with “I wish” or “I’d like to” language.
- Blame technology if it caused the problem.
- Focus on the positive and move forward constructively.
What are some of your best tips for expressing regret in a professional email? I’d love to hear how you handle these sticky situations tactfully in writing.
If you’re experiencing technical difficulties
Hybrid and remote work gained popularity in the last few years, causing people to use their electronic devices more than ever. Unfortunately, no matter how tech-savvy you are, technical difficulties are bound to occur. And they usually arent your fault.
Think about a glitchy video call, for example. You might feel compelled to apologize if it takes a long time for a presentation to load, if buttons malfunction, or if theres another technical lag.
“Im sorry is often a phrase that people use when they need to fill space,” Lindo says. “They arent comfortable with silence.”
Instead of apologizing for things that are out of your control, use phrases like, “I appreciate your patience” and “Thank you for working with me,” to overcome any awkwardness and reinstate an air of confidence.
If you need to join a conversation
Suppose youre attending a meeting led by a colleague. Someone raises a point you agree or disagree with, and you want to share your viewpoint.
You might decide to interject by saying, “Sorry, but Id like to weigh in.”
This situation does not require an apology, Lindo points out.
“If you have information to add to a conversation or an opposing point of view, thats completely OK,” she says. “People use Im sorry in these situations to penetrate the conversation and have their voice heard when they dont have to.”
Instead of apologizing, use phrases like “Id love to add,” “I think that,” or “Heres a different perspective.” These phrases help you contribute without sounding scared to do so.
Assess the situation before you speak using the STAR (Situation, Task, Action, and Result) method, which can alleviate the need to apologize, Lindo says.
“Lets say you want to express an opposing point. First, consider the situation and ask yourself, Is this an appropriate time? If not, think about what task you can do, maybe reaching out to a manager or advisor beforehand, before saying something you may have to apologize for,” she explains.
“Decide what action you want to take, and ask yourself, What result am I looking for after this conversation?”
#How to apologize professionally in an email without saying sorry#
What can I use instead of ‘I’m Sorry’ in an email?
Depending on the circumstance, you might be able to substitute your apologies with words that more precisely express your feelings while remaining assertive and advancing your workflow. Here are seven phrases you can use in emails in place of “I’m sorry,” along with descriptions of when each one might be appropriate and concrete examples:
How do you stop writing ‘I’m Sorry’ in an email?
How to Stop Writing ‘I’m Sorry’ in Emails Say ‘Thank You’ instead. Show concern without saying sorry and demeaning yourself by saying “thank you” instead. … Respond from a comfortable spot. … Use sorry sparingly. … Make a note of what punctuation, words and phrases to avoid. … Ask for constructive feedback.
What do you say if you’re sorry?
Please accept my sincerest apologies. I am at fault and take full responsibility. Please forgive me. I’m regretful. Being human means making mistakes. Making mistakes means having to apologize. Sometimes, though, saying I’m sorry just isn’t enough. It is especially difficult to apologize when you don’t have the right words to express your regret.
What is a synonym for I’m Sorry?
That being said, below you’ll find formal synonyms for I’m sorry, but also casual phrases you can use instead. 1. I apologize. Consider this a direct, more formal synonym of “I’m sorry.” It’s quite versatile in the sense that it can be used for both small and big mistakes. I apologize for being late. I can assure you it won’t happen again.
