Welcome to Latticeâs advice column for new managers, âLike a Boss.â Iâm your host, Jennifer Romolini. Iâm an editor, an author (of the career guide âWeird In a World Thatâs Notâ), and, yes, a boss whoâs been managing other humans for the past dozen or so years at companies both giant and tiny, at quick and dirty startups and multi-layered corporations, with remote and in-office teams ranging from five to 45. Iâm also a speaker who talks about succeeding at work even when you feel like a freak. And, sometimes, I give advice, like right now. Â
I can tell my direct report is super burnt out but I donât think theyâre overworked. Weâre a small team and everyone has to wear a lot of hats and work hard â including me. How do I approach helping her out without cutting back her workload? Iâm starting to become frustrated.
Since the 1980s â when burnout was first identified as something that mainly affected rich white men with slicked-back hair wearing suspenders â itâs become something of an American epidemic. In fact, earlier this year, for the first time, the World Health Organization (WHO) classified burnout as a serious, diagnosable health condition; linking it to depression, addiction, and even heart disease. And, while we know work burnout is a real and significant mental health issue, the scam of modern hustle culture (RISE AND GRIND, am I right?) has normalized and glorified a type of performative workaholism to the point that feeling fried at work is easily dismissed as just a sign of the times.Â
In the year of our Lord 2019, lots of people pontificate about the problem of burnout, but discovering a solution has largely been placed on the already-stressed shoulders of employees, not the institutions mandating and benefiting from all this overwork. Itâs as if we collectively believe the problem of burnout can be fixed with face masks, ASMR, and some CBD. Bibbidy Bobbity Boo, youâre cured, now get back to work. â
Your message doesnât give me enough information to accurately assess where the real issue in your office lies â is it with your employeeâs time-management skills or an office ethos that works people to the bone? â but I am going to take a leap and gently suggest that the call may be coming at least somewhat from inside the house. This is not necessarily your fault or anything youâve done wrong, but finding a solution will require asking yourself a few challenging questions, questions which probably donât include, âHow can I keep working this person as hard as I am and also have them stop feeling bad about all this working?â I get it, youâre in a tough spot, but until you really examine the (potentially systemic) problem, you canât come up with a truly worthwhile fix. Or, in the words of Marlo from The Wire, âYou want it to be one way, but itâs the other way.â
It’s normal to encounter challenges and stress at work. But when your job feels constantly overwhelming, unbearable, and too difficult to handle, it takes a toll on your mental health and performance.
As someone who’s felt their job is too hard, I can relate to that sinking sensation of being in over your head. The relentless pressure and anxiety creep into your life outside of work. You dread going into the office, always feeling behind and incapable.
It’s an exhausting way to live. But there are ways to make things better if your job has become too hard to bear.
Why You Might Feel Your Job Is Too Hard
There are a few common reasons people get to the breaking point of feeling their work is too difficult
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Unreasonable workload – Expecting one person to handle the responsibilities of multiple roles inevitably sets them up to fail
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Poor training – Throwing someone into a complex job without proper training leaves them unprepared.
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Weak skills/experience match – Level of experience doesn’t align with duties, making tasks very difficult.
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Unsupportive environment – Toxic workplace culture with no guidance or support,
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High pressure – Intense pressure to complete unrealistic amounts of work quickly.
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Lack of autonomy – Micromanagement prevents any control over your workload.
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Poor leadership – Manager doesn’t provide adequate direction, resources, or assistance.
When several of these factors compound, it creates a recipe for unmanageable stress.
Physical and Mental Effects
The challenges of an overly difficult job can seriously impact your health:
- Headaches, stomach issues, muscle tension from anxiety
- Constant exhaustion yet inability to sleep
- Lack of energy and focus
- Irritability, sadness, loss of motivation
- Low self-esteem and feeling like a failure
Left unchecked, this extreme stress takes a heavy toll both physically and mentally. It’s important to recognize the symptoms and take action before your health declines further. Don’t ignore the signs that your job has become hazardous for your wellbeing.
How to Cope When You Feel Overwhelmed
When you realize your job has become too hard, try these coping strategies:
Talk to your manager – Have an honest discussion about the specific factors making your work unrealistic right now. See if any temporary arrangements like reduced hours or duties could help.
Prioritize essential tasks – Break overwhelming projects down into must-do’s versus nice-to-do’s. Ask your manager what the top priorities are.
Take breaks – Short breaks to decompress prevent burnout. Even just 5-10 minutes of walking outside can recharge your focus.
Avoid unhealthy coping habits – It’s easy to fall back on behaviors like excessive eating, smoking, or drinking to numb the stress. But these worsen the situation.
Practice self-care – Make time for healthy stress relievers like exercise, socializing, relaxing hobbies. Don’t neglect self-care even when busy.
Change your mindset – Don’t beat yourself up or think you’re incompetent. Reframe challenges as learning experiences, not judgments of your abilities.
Ask for help – Seek guidance from colleagues who’ve mastered parts of the role you’re struggling with. Most people are willing to help.
Look for efficiencies – Are there ways to streamline certain processes or automate repetitive tasks? Even small optimizations add up.
Determining the Best Course of Action
If coping strategies provide only temporary relief, you’ll need to make a bigger change for your health and sanity. Assess whether the job can become sustainable again or if it’s time to let it go.
Improving Your Current Job
Consider these steps to improve an overly difficult job:
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Have an open and collaborative discussion with your manager about more reasonable goals and boundaries.
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Request a revised job description that accurately reflects your realistic scope.
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Ask for skills training or mentoring in areas you lack experience.
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Negotiate dropping or delegating certain responsibilities that are too advanced for your capabilities.
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Propose alternate arrangements like flextime, reduced hours, or temporary reassignment of duties.
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Address any toxic workplace issues contributing to the strain through HR.
With the right balance of job fit, support, and modifications, you may be able to manage previously unmanageable duties.
Leaving Your Current Job
If attempts to fix issues fail, it may be healthiest to find a new job aligned with your experience level and abilities. Warning signs it’s time to move on:
- Your workload remains unrealistic despite repeated conversations.
- The work environment is dysfunctional and unsupportive.
- The job is severely compromising your mental or physical health.
- You dread going to work every day.
- There are no opportunities for professional growth.
Don’t stay in a job that makes you miserable. With the right role, you can rediscover your motivation.
How Friends and Family Can Help
If a loved one’s job is dangerously overwhelming, provide support:
- Listen without judgment and validate their feelings.
- Encourage them to set boundaries and say no to unreasonable demands.
- Discuss options, but let them decide if/when to leave the job.
- Offer to help with chores, errands, childcare to lighten the load.
- Remind them of their talents and that the job doesn’t define them.
- Suggest counseling if mental health is suffering severely.
- Rally other friends and family to provide a support system.
Showing you care helps reduce isolation and restore a sense of hope. Assure them the situation is temporary.
When to Get Professional Help
If coping strategies and lifestyle changes don’t improve extreme distress, seek professional counseling. Signs to get help:
- Persistent sadness, anxiety, or feelings of worthlessness
- Severe loss of energy, appetite changes, and sleep issues
- Difficulty concentrating or completing routine tasks
- Physical effects like chest pains, headaches, digestive issues
- Negative self-talk, feeling like a failure
- Withdrawing socially from friends and activities
- Relying on substances to cope
Therapy and medication can treat mental health issues stemming from a high-pressure job. Don’t wait until you’ve reached a breaking point.
You Can Regain Your Confidence and Capabilities
When an unfit job leaves you feeling constantly overwhelmed and self-doubting, it’s hard to recognize your talents. No matter how difficult your work has become, remember:
- You have skills and value beyond any one role.
- This level of stress is not sustainable for anyone.
- With the right job fit and support, you can thrive again.
- This does not mean you are weak or incompetent.
- Your health and wellbeing should always take priority.
Take back control with honest conversations, rest, self-care, and exploring better work arrangements or opportunities. With resilience and self-compassion, you can move forward to create a job that doesn’t break you.
What is the source of this employeeâs burnout?Â
This is a larger question which encompasses lots of smaller questions, the first is: How does your employee spend her day? Youâve mentioned that youâre a small team where everyone is expected to complete a lot of different kinds of tasks, which may be part of the problem. In his book, Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World, scientist Cal Newport identifies the difference between deep work (thoughtful, time-consuming assignments like writing and analyzing data) vs. shallow work (tasks such as answering emails, responding to memes on Slack) and how itâs nearly impossible to do both well at once. So, if youâre expecting this employee to be available to you at all times during the workday, to answer emails and Slacks lightning fast, while also expecting her to complete deeper work like creating decks and presentations or analyzing metrics, it doesnât really matter how much work there is to do or even if sheâs the perfect person to do it; youâre setting her up to not only burn out, but fail.Â
In order to solve this, sit down with the staffer and ask her to outline what an average day and week looks like for her; writing down all of the things she needs to do (afterward, log all of your insights in a tool like Lattice). Start to identify patterns where assignments can be grouped, weekly deadlines can be moved, superfluous meetings can be changed or canceled. Allow her to block out appropriate space for âdeeper workâ projects â which may include a more flexible in-office schedule (one day a week at home) or at least hours in the week when sheâs not expected to respond to every message that comes her way.Â
This is also an opportunity to audit how your company communicates overall: How do you engage with clients? Is your system efficient or do you have areas where you could tighten up (i.e., nine people owning the same project and responding to queries on said project)? How available do you expect your employees to be? (Remember that availability is not the same as accountability â an employee who doesnât talk to you for a full day but turns in thoughtful, complete work is often better than one waving âLook at me! Look at me! Iâm still on the clock at 10 p.m.!â) By carefully scrutinizing all of your processes and streamlining your systems in logical ways, you may find there is more time in the week than you ever conceived.Â
Does our org chart make sense / is work in the office distributed appropriately?
Staffing is weird â sometimes you hire someone thinking you need them to do a thing and then, really, it turns out you donât need them to do that thing but another thing. Or this other person is better at the thing than that person you hired who turns out to be good at other things. Most org charts make sense on paper, but in reality look like a game of Twister where everyone has four hands and theyâre all on red.
This Is The Type of Job You Should Quit | Mel Robbins “Work It Out”
Is your job too difficult?
Your role may seem too difficult if you’re constantly tired from your commute or work-related travel. Your actual role may not be challenging, but it can feel that way if you lack energy and enthusiasm. Consider asking your supervisor if you can work remotely a couple of days a week, or if there are ways to minimize your business travel.
What makes a job too hard?
Related: How To Overcome Challenges in the Workplace What can make a job too hard? A job may be too hard if it consistently adds stress or concern to your life, and you routinely struggle to meet your deadlines or objectives. Depending on your qualifications, schedule and goals, you may feel like your professional role is too challenging.
How do I know if I’m working too hard?
To help you assess your workflow and improve your work-life balance, here are seven signs of working too hard: 1. Working long hours Frequently working overtime, putting in more hours than your coworkers and spending time at home checking your work email can impact the amount of free time you have to spend with family and friends.
What does working too hard mean?
Working too hard means that you’re expending too much energy to complete your workplace responsibilities. This can cause you to feel physically or mentally tired, or even both. This depends on the nature of your work, but some actions like frequently working long hours of overtime are one example of this.
