There’s a difference between being a high-achiever and being a perfectionist. Both types of people want to succeed. However, high-achievers are motivated to do their best, while perfectionists are motivated by fear, paralyzed by the idea of failure. Before we discuss how to overcome perfectionism, here are a few important things to know about it:
Breaking Free From Perfectionism: A Guide to Greater Joy and Fulfillment
Perfectionism can seem like an admirable quality. Striving to achieve your highest standards and produce flawless work demonstrates discipline and competence, right?
In reality perfectionism often causes more harm than good leading to crippling anxiety, procrastination, lowered productivity, and dissatisfaction with life.
The drive for unattainable perfection can drain your time happiness and self-esteem. Fortunately, you can break free from perfectionist tendencies starting today. Implement these strategies to overcome perfectionism and reclaim greater freedom and joy.
Adjust Your Mindsets Around Perfectionism
Transforming perfectionist thinking patterns is key for meaningful change. Start by challenging these unhelpful mindsets with more balanced thinking:
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“Perfect is achievable” -> “I strive for excellence, not perfection.”
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“Mistakes are failures” -> “Mistakes help me improve.”
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“My worth depends on results” -> “My value is inherent, not what I produce.”
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“Others easily do better” -> “Everyone struggles sometimes.”
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“I must control everything” -> “I can only control my best effort.”
Remind yourself daily that perfection is impossible and unnecessary. You are enough, just as you are.
Alter Your Self-Talk
Perfectionistic self-talk like “I can’t make any mistakes” or “I must do this perfectly” pressurizes you. Actively reshape your inner voice:
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Replace absolute words like “must,” “need to,” and “can’t” with gentler phrases like “I want to,” “I aspire to,” and “I can try.”
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Avoid critical labels like “failure,” “inadequate,” or “incapable.” Talk to yourself with kindness and encouragement instead.
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Forgive small errors quickly. Tell yourself “That’s ok, I’m still learning” versus obsessing over imperfection.
Practice self-compassion. You are still valuable when struggling or falling short of ideals.
Set Realistic Standards
Temper perfectionism by developing standards you can actually attain:
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Outline clear, specific goals versus vague, ever-rising expectations.
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Break large intimidating goals into smaller, doable steps that incrementally stretch your abilities.
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Base targets on your own growth rather than comparing yourself to others.
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Ensure standards align with priorities. Perfectionism over low-priority details wastes energy.
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Build in flexibility. Progress, not perfection, is the aim.
Adjusting standards to your current abilities and needs helps perfectionism feel less oppressive.
Focus on the Process, Not Just Results
Rather than fixating on perfect outcomes, direct your attention to productive behaviors that support progress:
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Note what processes help you make steady improvements. Repeat what works.
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Celebrate small acts like starting an intimidating project or diligently practicing a skill.
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Derive satisfaction from engaging fully in the work itself day-to-day.
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When you fall short, focus on learning for next time rather than berating yourself.
Appreciating your efforts creates positive momentum, whether or not you achieve perfect results.
Reframe Failure as Feedback
How you internalize setbacks determines your resilience. See failure not as indictment of your worth, but as impartial feedback to utilize:
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Note that mistakes and shortfalls are inevitable parts of growth rather than marks of inadequacy.
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Remind yourself that your value is unchanged by any outcome, positive or negative.
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Analyze missteps objectively to extract lessons that inform your next try, adjusting your process accordingly.
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Discuss failures candidly with trusted mentors and collaborators to gain constructive insight.
Failure only derails progress if you distort rather than learn from it.
Give Your Inner Critic a Break
Perfectionists endlessly critique themselves. Create healthy distance from your inner critic:
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Imagine your harsh inner voice as coming from an external source. Recognize its distortions.
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Talk to yourself as a trusted friend would – with empathy, reassurance, and benefit of the doubt.
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Carve out critic-free zones, like enjoying music or nature, to experience relief.
You deserve compassion, not self-berating criticisms. Pull back from relentless judgement.
Ask Yourself “What Truly Matters?”
Perfectionistic tendencies often target low-priority activities. Before over-investing time and mental energy:
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Clarify your core values and goals. What matters most to you?
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Rank current tasks and responsibilities by importance.
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Budget intensity for high-impact priorities only.
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For lower-priority items, shift to a mindset of completion rather than perfection.
Prioritizing creates space to relax perfectionistic demands on less critical areas.
Prevent Burnout With Rest
Exhaustion exacerbates perfectionistic tendencies. Recharge yourself:
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Build regular exercise into your schedule to reduce stress.
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Set technology boundaries to protect off-duty hours.
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Take relaxing mini-breaks between intense work.
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Unplug fully on weekends and vacations.
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Say no to assuming additional responsibilities when overloaded.
Preserving downtime safeguards energy needed to temper perfectionistic urges.
Enlist Outside Perspectives
Perfectionism distorts reality and rationality. Counter it with objective input:
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Consult mentors to reality-check imposing unrealistic expectations on yourself.
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Ask trusted colleagues if your standards seem excessive or unnecessary for the task.
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Remember that others do not evaluate you as harshly as you judge yourself.
External feedback provides much-needed context on what standards are sufficient versus unreasonable.
Perfectionism Becomes More Burden Than Benefit
Perfectionistic tendencies arise from both nature and nurture, but clear shifts in mindset and behavior can help transform them. By applying the strategies in this guide, you can break free of perfectionism’s onerous grip.
Expect change to require concerted effort and time. Be patient with yourself. There will be setbacks. But persist, and perfectionistic impulses will gradually loosen. You will reclaim lightness, satisfaction, and self-compassion previously obscured.
While flawlessness may seem the mark of excellence, perfectionism’s harshness often undermines motivation and fulfillment. Your worth remains unchanged, even if you never achieve perfection again. You deserve to be liberated from its tyranny. May this guide start you on the path toward rewriting limiting beliefs and creating a rich, rewarding life lived imperfectly but to the fullest.
3- Allow Yourself to Make Mistakes
When we allow ourselves to make mistakes, we can see that it’s not the end of the world when we fail. Mistakes are opportunities for us to learn, grow and do better. One way to practice this is by taking up a new hobby that you’ll likely not be good at on first try. Instead of trying to be “perfect” at it, focus instead on enjoying the activity and slowly learning how to get better. What you might find is that mistakes are necessary to get to where you want to be.
7- Focus on Meaning Over Perfection
Try to shift your focus on finding meaning in what you do, rather than trying to do it perfectly. If something brings us joy and purpose, then it doesn’t matter if it’s not done perfectly. There is more fulfillment to be had in finding meaning along the way.
Imposterism, Perfectionism, and Burnout – A Toxic Triad
How to overcome perfectionism?
If you’re going to overcome perfectionism, you need to work on changing this little voice! Negative self-talk can perpetuate unhealthy behaviors and wreak havoc on your self-esteem; by altering your self-talk, you can go a long way toward enjoying life more and gaining an increased appreciation for yourself and your work.
How do I stop being a perfectionist?
Identify where you need to cut yourself some slack and recognize areas in your life where perfectionism could do harm. Goal setting can help you define the problem you wish to overcome, the general goals you would like to set (in a non-perfectionist way), and the tasks involved in reaching them.
How do you know if you have perfectionism?
Compulsive behavior like reorganizing and rearranging are warning signs of perfectionism. Catastrophic Thinking. Another telltale clue is when minor mistakes feel like major disasters. A verbal slip-up, typo, poor review, or bad haircut must keep its place in the universe.
How do I manage perfectionism?
Use the Goal Setting to Manage Perfectionism worksheet to capture what you would like to change and the goals you can set to complete the challenge. It can be helpful to re-write the list regularly in priority order and remove those items you feel you have addressed.
