All you wanted was to do your job well, to have a good working relationship with everyone in the office, and to take part in company life. But nothing’s been the same since you noticed that a colleague has been muscling in on your projects.
This individual has gradually been taking over your tasks, which is rather unnerving. They’re contacting clients about subjects that you usually manage, organizing meetings in your place, making decisions without consulting you on projects you’re responsible for, interfering in email exchanges, and giving unsolicited opinions. In short, it’s too much. You’re finding it hard to understand and to stay calm. Why is your colleague doing this? More importantly, how do you fix it without getting yourself in trouble? Here are some tips on how to approach this issue calmly and put an end to what you’ve come to see as “project theft”.
We get it. Finding out that a colleague is encroaching on your work is never fun. The situation might stir up unpleasant feelings: a loss of self-confidence, feelings of failure and lack of legitimacy, anger and confusion. Beyond personal emotions, this kind of situation can also create tension and lead to large-scale conflict. For the sake of all employees, and for the company to run smoothly, it’s in your best interest to maintain good working relationships with colleagues. So let’s look at how to deal with this sensitive situation.
Having a coworker who attempts to take over your projects and responsibilities can be incredibly frustrating. Their controlling behavior can undermine your authority and make it difficult for you to do your job effectively. However there are constructive ways to address the situation and regain control.
In this article, we’ll explore techniques for dealing with a colleague who oversteps boundaries and hijacks your work. With the right approach, you can resolve the conflict in a professional manner that sets clear boundaries without damaging your relationship.
Remain Calm
When tensions start to rise with a coworker, it’s important to remain level-headed. Reacting emotionally or passive-aggressively will only escalate the situation in a non-productive way. Take a few deep breaths and give yourself time to respond thoughtfully. Arrange a private conversation when you’re feeling calm and focused.
Keep the Discussion Between You and Your Colleague
Address concerns directly with your coworker first before getting others involved Pull them aside privately and have a constructive discussion about your working relationship Avoid venting to other colleagues or your manager before taking steps to resolve the issue one-on-one,
Approach Your Colleague Diplomatically
When discussing the situation, use a diplomatic approach focused on finding a solution Avoid accusatory language and keep an open, understanding tone For example
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“I wanted to discuss our teamwork collaboration. I’m eager to hear your thoughts.”
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“I notice you take the lead on projects I’m assigned. Could we discuss how tasks could be divided more evenly?”
Making the conversation about progress and teamwork rather than blame creates a more constructive dialogue.
Keep Communication Positive
Rather than focusing on past negative behaviors, frame the discussion around positive change moving forward. Communicate how dividing responsibilities clearer will help you collaborate together better as a team. Suggest specific ways tasks could be delegated evenly so both your strengths are utilized.
Create a Task Division Plan
Develop a clear plan about how work will be divided, who will lead on what projects, and how decisions will be made jointly. Get agreement on boundaries and rules of engagement. Having defined responsibilities in writing ensures accountability and prevents confusion down the road.
Pick Your Battles Wisely
Not every attempt to take over needs to be addressed. Prioritize discussing situations where you feel disrespected or your own work is being impeded. Letting minor slights roll off your back preserves working relationships. But don’t remain silent on issues central to your duties.
Stay Solution-Focused
Rather than rehash past issues, focus the conversation on actionable solutions. Be prepared with suggestions for better task coordination that help move the discussion forward productively. Brainstorm improvements together and find consensus.
Be Willing to Compromise
Successful conflict resolution often requires compromise. Have an open mind to meeting your colleague part way. Maybe you take the lead on certain projects while they own others. Seek creative solutions where you both feel heard.
Follow Up
After your initial conversation, follow up to ensure changes are implemented. Check in regularly about how the division of work is going. Provide positive reinforcement as efforts are made to improve collaboration. Ongoing communication ensures progress sticks.
Involve a Manager If Needed
If one-on-one efforts to resolve the conflict fail, consider involving your manager. Present the situation objectively focusing on how it impedes your work. Make specific requests for how your manager can help referee and establish clearer boundaries.
Turn Takeover Attempts Into Opportunities
Rather than viewing controlling colleagues solely through a lens of conflict, try to identify win-win scenarios. Their desire to take over may come from boredom, micromanagement tendencies, or enthusiasm. Channel these constructively.
Suggest Joint Ownership
Propose that you co-manage projects, dividing up tasks according to strengths and interests. Shared responsibility gives your colleague an outlet without fully hijacking your work. Present it as enabling both of you to shine.
Assign Meaningful Roles
Offer specific ancillary roles that utilize their skills without derailing your autonomy. Perhaps they could handle background research, data analysis, or report creation while you maintain lead status.
Learn From Their Expertise
Consider whether your colleague’s desire to take charge stems from greater experience in certain areas. Ask them to mentor or train you on new skills, strengthening the whole team.
Regularly Reset Expectations
Schedule periodic check-ins to realign responsibilities if overlap creeps back in. Solicit their suggestions for improvement. Consistent communications reinforces boundaries and ensures needs are met.
When to Involve Your Manager
Despite your best efforts, your colleague’s behavior may fail to change, negatively impacting your performance. At that stage, it becomes essential to involve your manager, particularly if your colleague’s actions undermine major projects or decisions. Be prepared to give specific examples of how the situation impedes your work. Focus the conversation on actions your manager can take, like clarifying roles and expectations, to improve your team’s working dynamic. While turning to authority can feel awkward, managers have a duty to intervene when conflicts between reports escalate and interfere with work. Handle the process diplomatically, positioning it as a last resort meant to enable everyone’s success. With your manager’s help instituting systemic changes, you have a stronger foundation for redirecting your colleague’s misplaced efforts in a productive direction.
Key Takeaways for Handling a Colleague Who Takes Over
- Remain professional. Don’t react emotionally or escalate tensions.
- Discuss issues one-on-one first before getting others involved.
- Frame conversations constructively focused on solutions.
- Develop written plans to divide tasks and responsibilities clearly.
- Pick battles wisely. Not every minor issue needs to be addressed.
- Be willing to find compromise and meet halfway.
- Follow up regularly to ensure positive changes stick.
- Involve your manager if problems persist despite one-on-one efforts.
- Turn takeover attempts into opportunities for mentorship or joint ownership.
- Reset expectations periodically if boundaries get blurred.
With patience and thoughtful communication, you can establish boundaries with a controlling colleague professionally. Seek win-win scenarios that allow you both to showcase your talents while respecting one another’s work. If undertaken collaboratively, the effort to improve your working dynamic can strengthen your relationship and productivity over the long haul.
Try to understand why your colleague is stepping on your toes
You’re wondering how it came to this. This may be key to resolving this tricky situation:try to understand why your colleague is acting in this way by confronting them with their own behavior. This will help you to take a step back from the situation and calmly discuss it with them. To analyze the facts. To do this, ask yourself the right questions about your colleague, and also about yourself as well:
- Are they new in the company? Perhaps they don’t fully understand the scope of their job?
- Is your job description sufficiently well-defined? What’s theirs?
- Does this colleague just want to help you? Does it come across like you need help with certain projects?
- Do they feel they can work better or faster than you?
- What’s in it for them? Is it to take credit for your work in the eyes of your boss?
- Was it really this individual who decided to encroach on your work or did they receive instructions to do so?
As with any problematic situation, identify the source of dysfunction to find the solution. It’s only after doing this that you’ll be able to work out a strategy.
Avoid venting to colleagues
Unless you have some real, trusted work allies, avoid spilling your guts about what’s on your mind. Such a delicate situation could be perceived in a thousand different ways and involve, in one way or another, colleagues who are otherwise unaffected. What you say could also be taken the wrong way and by the wrong people. Do you know the children’s game Chinese whispers? Well, this is the same. You run the risk of having your words distorted as everyone comes up with their own interpretations. This might backfire: you could come under criticism for slyly damaging the reputation of a colleague rather than speaking to the parties involved or those with the power to do something about it.
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What should I do if my colleague is trying to take over?
When you’ve confirmed that your colleague is trying to take over your work or dominate you within a team, schedule a chat with them. By asking them directly about the problem, you may determine their approach to the situation and learn about their viewpoint. During the conversation, remember not to appear judgemental.
Why does my colleague keep taking over my work?
For example, when your colleague continuously offers to complete tasks for which you’re responsible, they may be trying to take over your work. Learning how to deal with this situation may improve your confidence, help you set boundaries and perform better when working collaboratively.
How do you know if a colleague is taking over your work?
There are many signs that a colleague is taking over your tasks or projects without permission. You might notice that some of your daily responsibilities are already being completed before you’ve begun working. Other examples are colleagues offering unsolicited help with your projects or taking credit for your work.
What should I do if a colleague is upset?
Make sure you approach your colleague with respect and genuine curiosity. Be open to the possibility of a misunderstanding or miscommunication with you or supervisors. Make an effort not to become defensive, either in your body language or tone. If you hear something upsetting, try not to react immediately.
