Socializing can be tricky. On one hand, humans are inherently social creatures who crave connection. On the other hand, social situations can provoke anxiety and be difficult to navigate. With some thoughtfulness and preparation, however, socializing can be pleasant and rewarding. This article outlines dos and don’ts to smooth social interactions.
The Dos
Take Part in Social Engagements
While avoiding social events may seem easier, getting out there is key Accept invitations, say yes to after-work happy hours, and attend community events Not only does participating boost happiness through human connection, it builds social skills. With practice, socializing gets easier.
Be Inclusive
Cliques and exclusivity have no place in positive socializing. Make an effort to draw others into conversations and activities Introduce people, find common interests, and make sure everyone feels welcomed. An inclusive, friendly attitude encourages further engagement.
Use Sincerity and Honesty
Speak authentically. Share thoughts, feelings, and experiences genuinely. Fake or exaggerated reactions ring hollow, while sincerity fosters meaningful interactions. Honesty paired with consideration for others builds trust and lasting relationships. Tell the truth, but do so tactfully.
Respect Others’ Perspectives
Not everyone shares the same views. Listen carefully when others speak. Seek to understand by asking thoughtful questions. Refrain from judgment and keep an open mind. Respectful disagreement enables exploration of new concepts. Develop tolerance.
Trust the Process
Start small and don’t expect perfection. Social skills develop over time through effort and experience. Aim for incremental progress through pushing comfort zones. Expect occasional awkwardness and discomfort. These feelings are normal and part of learning. With practice, confidence grows.
The Don’ts
Avoid Gossip and Cliques
Gossip harms reputations and divides groups into harmful cliques. If someone gossips to you, redirect the conversation. Change the subject or say something kind about the person being targeted. Refuse to participate in exclusionary cliques. Reach out to excluded people and find common ground.
Stay Off Social Media
Social media has its benefits, but it shouldn’t replace face-to-face interaction. When socializing in person, stay off the phone. Give your full attention to the people right in front of you instead of those online. You can catch up on notifications later. Authentic engagement is most important.
Don’t Judge Too Quickly
First impressions aren’t everything. Some take longer to come out of their shell than others. Give people time and space to get comfortable. Their initial shyness or quietness often gives way to humor, kindness, or other positive qualities. Keep an open mind instead of judging too fast.
Avoid Forcing Interactions
Conversation should flow naturally. Don’t interrogate people with overly personal questions. Don’t insist on connecting if common interests aren’t apparent. Demanding interactions amplifies discomfort. Let things happen organically based on authentic connection. If it’s not there, maybe try again another time.
Don’t Overshare
Revealing too much too soon comes off as inappropriate or clingy. Keep personal disclosures in check. As comfort levels grow, deeper sharing can occur, but early interactions call for polite pleasantries. Let confidences emerge slowly by gauging reactions and reciprocity. Take cues from others’ boundaries.
Helpful Tips for Successful Socializing
Here are some additional pointers for minimizing stress and discomfort during social interactions:
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Arrive on time or slightly early. Punctuality shows respect.
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Make eye contact and smile to appear approachable.
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Introduce yourself and ask others questions about themselves. People enjoy discussing their interests.
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Avoid controversial topics like politics or religion unless you know the other person well.
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Don’t drink excessively. Moderation prevents embarrassing behavior.
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Have a few go-to stories or jokes ready to break the ice if conversation lags.
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Relax. Don’t put excessive pressure on yourself to impress.
Remember, social skills develop over time. Each interaction provides valuable practice and lessons. Don’t become discouraged by moments of awkwardness. With effort and experience, socializing gets easier. The rewards of human connection make it well worth it.
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Do Participate in Social Events, at Least on Occasion
“The most common mistake many people make when it comes to office socializing is to not engage in it,” says career coach EB Sanders. Never going to office events or coworker happy hours send a loud and clear message, she says: “You don’t care about these people.” Not taking time, on occasion, to spend with work colleagues, she says, will generally cause you to be seen “as aloof, disconnected and unengaged”—not traits that you should want to nurture.
Perhaps worse, Sanders says: “If you’re not bonding with teammates, department heads and C-levels, they may have no ide who you are and how invested in the company you are.”
You don’t have to go to every event, you don’t have to have a drink if that’s not your thing, but Sanders advises: “Show up, chat with your work friends and step outside that circle to get in front of leaders and managers you normally wouldn’t get face time with.”
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Parks and Recreation. The Office. Scrubs. These are just a few of the many examples in pop culture that illustrate workplace friendships. With most employees spending about a 1/3 of their lives at work—and another 1/3 sleeping—it’s clear that the relationships formed there can be impactful, and positive.
There can be big benefits for both employees and organizations when they form strong relationships in the workplace. “Employees with strong work relationships are happier and have a built-in support system and sounding board when they need it,” says Stephanie Naznitsky, executive director of staffing firm Office Team. “Socializing with coworkers can build camaraderie and give you a much-needed break during the day. Plus, having those connections can work in your favor if you require help on something down the line,” she says.
Her perspectives are supported by data from Gallup which tells us that, based on their research, having a “best friend” at work can help to boost employee satisfaction, engagement, and loyalty. And, certainly, business professionals would generally agree that building a strong network of internal contacts can be a positive career move.
But can socializing with colleagues ever lead to potentially negative consequences? We have only to look to the #MeToo movement for one very egregious way in which it can. Even mutually desired friendships, platonic or otherwise, though, can have an unintended, and sometimes undesirable, impact on your career.
Here we take a look at X do’s and don’ts for socializing with colleagues from business experts and coaches with both personal and professional experiences in this area.
