Popping the big question and asking your partner to marry you is one of the most important moments in a relationship. While it’s an exciting time, marriage proposals also come with a lot of pressure to get it just right. From picking the ring to planning the big moment, it’s easy to mess up if you aren’t careful
In this article I’ll provide tips on the dos and don’ts of crafting the perfect marriage proposal. I’ll cover key considerations like timing, location, involving others and more. By the end, you’ll understand the best practices for creating a truly memorable engagement.
Don’ts – Mistakes to Avoid When Proposing
While the act of proposing marriage should come from a loving and sincere place, it’s easy to make missteps. Here are some key don’ts to avoid so you don’t sabotage your special moment
Don’t Propose Without a Ring
Having an engagement ring ready to present makes the moment more tangible and “official.” Don’t put yourself in the awkward position of asking for marriage without a ring to offer. Shop for a ring she’ll love within your budget.
Don’t Copy Another Proposal
We’ve all seen those viral proposal videos sweeping the internet. But straight up copying another person’s idea sends the wrong message. While you can take inspiration from others, personalize your proposal to reflect your unique relationship and partner.
Don’t Make It a Public Spectacle
Sure, some partners might love a jumbotron proposal at a sporting event. But for most, having an audience may make the moment overwhelming. Proposing more privately avoids putting unwanted pressure on your partner.
Don’t Go Overboard on Location
You want the location to be special, but don’t go so over-the-top that the setting overshadows your romantic gesture. For example, don’t propose while skydiving unless you know your partner would enjoy that.
Don’t Use the Ring Box It Came In
Don’t pop the question while holding that public jewelry store ring box. Invest in a nice custom ring box or another creative ring holder to make the moment special.
Don’t Tell Everyone Your Plan
It can be tempting to share your idea with close friends or family. But too many opinions from others may sway or cloud your judgment. Keep the plan between you and your partner only.
By avoiding these common errors, you already increase your chances of an ideal proposal. Next let’s look at some key dos to make it as memorable as possible.
Dos – Best Practices for Your Proposal
Carefully planning the logistics of your proposal sets you up for an amazing engagement. Here are some top dos to wow your future fiancé:
Do Discuss Marriage First
Before proposing, have an open conversation about getting married. This ensures you’re both on the same page ready to take this big step. Don’t let the proposal be the first time marriage is discussed.
Do Consider Your Partner’s Personality
Think about whether your partner would prefer something public or private, simple or extravagant. Pick a proposal that fits their comfort level to make it more special.
Do Pick a Meaningful Location
Select a location that holds nostalgic value like where you went on your first date or had your first kiss. Or somewhere related to their interests or hobbies.
Do Enlist an Affiliate
Having a friend or family member subtly take photos or videos of the proposal can help capture meaningful moments you may miss in the excitement. Just don’t overcrowd the occasion.
Do Have a Backup Plan
Proposals often require coordination like weather, travel, reservations, etc. Have contingency plans in case something falls through so you can still create a great moment.
Do Memorize a Heartfelt Speech
Write out what you want to say when you ask them to marry you. Practice your words so you can speak genuinely from the heart even when nervous.
Do Have a Ring Alternative Ready
It’s possible your partner may want to help pick the ring itself. If so, have a nice placeholder gift ready to give them during your heartfelt ask.
Key Things to Remember When Planning Your Proposal
Below I’ve highlighted some final tips to keep in mind through this exciting process:
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Make sure you know they are ready for marriage before asking. Don’t let the proposal be a surprise.
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Pick a ring style and size you know your partner will enjoy based on hints they’ve dropped.
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If doing a public proposal, ensure it’s a location they go to and feel comfortable in.
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Have an emergency kit with items like breath mints, deodorant, hair spray, and other useful things.
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Allow extra time to account for delays, traffic, technical issues, or other surprises that may pop up.
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Focus on creating a special intimate moment between the two of you first and foremost.
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Expect to feel nervous leading up to it – after all, it’s one of the biggest moments of your lives!
Make Your Proposal One to Remember
Asking your loved one to marry you is a once-in-a-lifetime occasion. Avoiding common errors while crafting a thoughtful, genuine proposal will lead to the happiest of endings – and beginnings!
Decide on a Ring (or Not)
According to the American Gem Society, the first person to plan a proposal with an engagement ring was an Austrian duke. This sparked the tradition in Europe during the 15th century.
Naturally then, when approaching how to propose, read the room and make a decision on whether or not you’ll be proposing with a ring, then go get it (or not).
The issue of what size of engagement ring to get when planning your proposal is a big one. I was lucky: my wife wore rings before we got engaged, so I was able to take one, compare it to a measuring guide, and go from there. The more popular ring metals (i.e. silver, gold, and platinum) can be easily resized as long as the design of the ring allows for it.
Be sure to inquire with your jeweler about how they handle resizing (expecting at least one complimentary resizing is reasonable).
The retail diamond industry is a big behemoth and navigating engagement ring decisions can be a huge pain. What I don’t recommend you do is just walk into a jewelry store and say, “I’m looking for an engagement ring.” Would you ever walk onto a used car lot and just ask for a car? Probably not, so try and educate yourself on engagement rings before you buy.
Let me try and break it down as simply as possible, then from here you can look into it further:
- Ring metals: Maybe start here. If your partner has never expressed anything about their preferred ring metal, just know that the two most popular types are probably yellow gold and white gold. Others include platinum, sterling silver, and rose gold. If you’ve never noticed your partner’s jewelry habits, now’s the time to look into them.
- Ring types/settings: Does your partner prefer the classic look of a solitaire setting or the elegant bling of a pavé ring? The different types, or settings, of engagement rings bring about another decision that you’ll need to make. Again, with nothing to go on from your partner, you’ll end up comparing and contrasting based on what you know about their personality (i.e. the more stones, the more attention).
- Ring stones: Of course, the classic, tried and true choice is a diamond. But some people may consider diamonds to be played out and there definitely can be some controversy surrounding how they are mined and sold. If you’ll be going the diamond route, read up on the basics of “the four Cs” and familiarize yourself with how to balance them within your budget. Should you elect, either through your partner’s wishes or your own decision, to go another stone route, great! There are plenty of other engagement stone options.
- Eventual match with a wedding band: Now here’s one you may not have thought of: the eventual wedding band that your partner may wear with their engagement ring. Again, this is another tradition that not everyone practices. But if it’s in the cards for your eventual spouse-to-be, keep it in mind. The literal side-by-side fit of your partner’s two rings is an issue to consider. This ring-matching tool by Jared illustrates the idea.
I have a guide to the best engagement ring jewelers in Connecticut and another guide on how to get a custom engagement ring in Connecticut. When you’re ready to buy a ring, be sure to check those out.
So you’re about to propose. need a proposal photographer to help?
My name’s Terrence and I’m a wedding photographer based in Connecticut. I’ve photographed multiple surprise proposals.
Use the links right here to keep in touch. When you’re ready, let’s connect!
Finalize Your Decision and Be Confident
For the purposes of this guide, let’s assume that you’re mostly ready to propose. Naturally then, you should probably get just about all the way there as a first step! This was my first step in planning to propose, knowing that I was actually ready to do so.
You’ll want to do some soul-searching here, making sure that you’re ready to be a spouse and that your partner is the one you’d like to bestow that prize upon. By the way, there are even interviews out there where people explain how they knew it was time to plan a proposal.
Proposal Tips – Ultimate Guide To Plan The Perfect Proposal. 9 Tips
What should I avoid when writing a proposal?
Here are some items you may avoid when writing a proposal: 1. Avoid research Although you want to create a unique proposal, researching the competition and relevant information can help support your argument. Researching other ideas that were successful might provide you with ideas on how you might make a similar solution work.
What happens if a business proposal is not asked for?
The written business proposal typically comes at a stage where the prospect truly understands the service/product, the costs, and the process to buy and how to implement what they have agreed to buy. If you email a proposal that was not asked for, you can expect either a quick no or a prolonged no-answer (silence).
Why do people submit proposals?
People submit proposals for various projects to their managers, companies hiring freelancers, publishers and other audiences to sell their ideas or qualifications. When writing a proposal, people have a limited space to convince others why they should choose their solutions over others.
What are the rules for proposing?
One of the traditional rules for proposing involves asking for the blessing of your partner’s parents. Depending on the family dynamics, this could mean how long before the proposal you should ask the father or both parents. This gesture shows respect for the family and acknowledges their importance in your partner’s life. 4.
