In every arena of life, we have to compete with other people. Students are taught to compete for higher grades. Coworkers compete for career promotions or higher salaries. In most life situations there is another person also vying for what we want.
Whether we like it or not, our lives are full of competitive situations. And if you are a competitive person, this can either be a benefit or a curse.
If you are a competitive person, you will probably relate to a lot of what is in this article. If you’re not competitive by nature, it might sound like the ramblings of an insane person.
The question I want to try to answer here is ‘why am I so competitive?’ and ‘is there a way to stop being so competitive?’
Competition in the workplace can often bring out the best in employees motivating them to work harder and be more productive. However, taken too far competition can become unhealthy and counterproductive. Here are some tips on how to avoid being overly competitive at work.
Recognize the Signs of Unhealthy Competition
- Constantly comparing yourself to coworkers
- Obsession with “winning” at all costs
- Taking credit for others’ work
- Sabotaging coworkers’ efforts
- Withholding information that could help the team
- Spreading rumors to make colleagues look bad
If you recognize these tendencies in yourself, it’s time to dial back the competitiveness
Understand the Root Causes
Overly competitive behavior often stems from:
- Insecurity – You feel the need to prove yourself to cover up self-doubt
- Ambition – An intense drive to get ahead can lead to ruthlessness
- Childhood influences – Growing up in a highly competitive environment normalized it
- Personality – Some people are naturally more competitive than others
Figuring out the root causes of your competitiveness can help you address it.
Set Collaborative Goals
Rather than focusing on individual metrics, work with your team to set shared goals. For example:
- Improving team productivity by 10%
- Increasing customer satisfaction scores
- Reducing project delivery times
Collaborative goals help foster a team mentality rather than pitting coworkers against each other.
Celebrate Shared Successes
When your team achieves something together, make sure to celebrate collectively. Give credit where credit is due, but focus more on the group effort rather than any one person’s contribution. This maintains team cohesion.
Adopt a Growth Mindset
View learning and improvement as the goal rather than besting your coworkers. How can you get better at your job and expand your skills? Taking this growth mindset removes the need to constantly compare yourself to others.
Focus on Customers
At the end of the day, your shared purpose is to serve customers. Keeping customer needs front and center provides perspective on what really matters, taking attention away from internal competition.
Don’t Participate in Office Politics
Avoid getting involved in gossip, rumor-spreading, and backstabbing. These behaviors breed toxicity and will only make the office environment more competitive. Rise above and set an example.
Talk Openly About Healthy Competition
Have transparent conversations with coworkers and managers about keeping competition healthy and constructive. Establish ground rules about what’s acceptable and what crosses the line into cutthroat behavior.
Be a Team Player
Look for opportunities to help coworkers and collaborate with them rather than compete. Share information freely, offer guidance, and make yourself available to support others. This creates goodwill.
Compliment Coworkers
When you notice a colleague do good work, offer sincere praise and recognition. This builds relationships and also boosts their confidence so they won’t feel as much need to compete with you.
Have Empathy
Try to understand where your coworkers are coming from. Each person has their own pressures, insecurities, and motivations. Extend grace and don’t assume the worst of them.
Focus on Self-Improvement
Rather than comparing yourself to coworkers, compete with yourself. Challenge yourself to grow your skills and improve certain metrics in your own performance. Healthy internal competition can motivate you.
Establish Clear Rules of Engagement
Work with your manager to define parameters around sales commissions, bonuses, and other rewards. Make sure the system is transparent and the rules are applied fairly to avoid cutthroat competition.
Change Jobs or Teams
If unhealthy competition is entrenched in your workplace’s culture, you may need to transfer departments or companies. Seek out a collaborative environment better aligned with your values.
Get Help from HR
If office politics and toxic competition have become severe, consult your HR department. They can intervene, mediate conflicts, and establish policies to foster a better work culture.
The bottom line is that excessive competition breeds negativity and hurts teamwork, productivity, and morale. By keeping it in check with these tips, you can sustain a positive workplace that brings out the best in everyone. The goal is healthy competition that motivates, not harmful competition that divides.
The Psychology of Being Competitive
There is a lot of psychology that backs up the reasons why we tend to be competitive. A 1998 study for the Journal of Economic Behavior & Organization showed that people feel better about themselves knowing they earn more money than their peers. Another 2015 study from Frontiers of Psychology showed that people who believed they were competing against others demonstrated faster reaction times, and put forth greater effort. Of course, there is a downside to competition and hyper competitiveness as well. According to Good Therapy “Excessive competition can also hurt the individual. A person may spend so much effort training to succeed that they neglect other parts of their life, such as friendship or hobbies. This can quickly lead to burnout and isolation.”
A 2022 study from The Journal of Research on Adolescence showed that as children grow into teenagers, their tendency to compete grows, and their desire to be cooperative declines. This is due ‘an increase in public evaluation and concerns about social comparison’. Taken to excess, competitiveness in teenagers can lead to anxiety, depression, jealousy, and low self esteem. Although many of the studies related articles around competitiveness are focused on small groups, the reality is that in normal everyday life competition is part of what we must contend with. Healthy competition is all around us, whether driving in a car, vying for a promotion, or trying to get a date with someone we are attracted to. We also love watching athletes play a competitive sport and cheering on our team. Learning to navigate through life while curbing your competitive streak is a great way to find balance and find more fulfillment.
Realize there is no ‘scorecard’ in life
A lot of the time, a person with a competitive streak will be driven to ‘rate’ themselves against people around them. They may want to make more money, achieve bigger goals, or find ways to appear to have higher status than people around them. The reality is that no matter how much you achieve personally, it doesn’t affect the life and value of anybody else. There is nobody keeping score in life, or ranking people against each other.
Letting go of this idea of rating yourself or keeping a scorecard can lead to a more balanced sense of motivation. It can also help to reduce feelings of envy, jealousy, and resentment.
Want to win? Stop trying to beat other people | Kayvon Asemani | TEDxPenn
How to avoid being overly competitive at work?
Having better professional relationships with your colleagues and working in a team-oriented fashion might reduce your desire to compete with them. Therefore, try to get to know your coworkers, recognize their strengths and purposefully develop a sense of camaraderie at work to avoid being overly competitive. 5. Collaborate purposefully
How do I deal with an over-competitive co-worker?
If you suspect you’re on the receiving end of regular negative treatment dished out by an over-competitive co-worker, by assessing your workplace, learning to cope, and taking steps to protect yourself you can successfully deal with overly competitive colleagues. Take a look at your work environment.
Why should you avoid being competitive with your coworkers?
Stronger team environment: Competing unhealthily with your coworkers can deteriorate a team environment over time. Avoiding being overly competitive can allow you to foster better relationships with your colleagues and improve your ability to work together toward common goals.
How do you deal with a competitive coworker?
Cultivating strong bonds with peers may even inspire your coworker to act friendlier and less adversarial. You may ask other employees if they feel the same way you do about a competitive coworker. If other employees are also experiencing disruptions in their work due to one person, that warrants a conversation with a supervisor.
