At least half the people I coach ask me about how to deal with a micromanaging boss. The irony, which I won’t dwell on today, is that several of them lean towards micromanagement themselves. The fact is, micromanagement is widespread and it can be a miserable situation to find yourself in.
Your boss complains that she has to do everything, but won’t let you actually do anything
Any of these sound familiar? Its infuriating honestly. You feel like you’re caught in a trap and there is no way out. You try to be proactive and take the initiative and you get shut down. You don’t take initiative and you get criticized for not being a leader. It’s enough to drive a person mad.
With enough time working for a micromanager, we all lose confidence. We lose an entire part of who we once were. We become defensive and cautious. We walk on eggshells. We question ourselves. I remember living in this micromanagement zone for some of the worst years of my career. It’s sad and hard to recover from.
I won’t sugar coat this for you. There is no easy way out of a micromanagement situation. There’s no “3 tips to fix it all”. Unfortunately, that’s just not reality and anyone who tells you it is, isn’t being honest with you or themselves. There is no magic bullet to fix it completely, but you can make things better. You can find a way to be successful and happier working for a micromanager.
Dealing with a micromanager at work can be extremely frustrating. Whether it’s your boss constantly looking over your shoulder or a coworker who questions your every move, micromanagement kills productivity and morale.
According to a recent survey, micromanagement is one of the top complaints among employees today. Over 60% of respondents said they deal with micromanagers at work.
So what makes someone a micromanager? Micromanagers exhibit controlling behaviors like:
- Needing to know every detail of a project
- Unwillingness to delegate tasks
- Excessive monitoring and supervision
- Constant criticism over minor issues
- Rejection of others’ ideas and approaches
The obsessive oversight makes employees feel disrespected, annoyed, and unable to work effectively. It breeds resentment and mistrust within teams. Ultimately, micromanagement causes high turnover as employees seek healthier workplaces.
If you’re struggling with a micromanaging boss or coworker, don’t despair. There are ways to handle the situation professionally so you can get your job done. This comprehensive guide explains how to deal with micromanagers at work.
Signs of a Micromanager
Micromanagers come in many forms, but you can identify them through some common behaviors:
They Want Full Control
Micromanagers feel the need to control everything about a project or task. They don’t trust others to get the job done so they refuse to relinquish authority.
You’ll find they delegate little to no work. Even if they assign you a task, they still insert themselves into every step
They Obsess Over Details
While good managers care about quality, micromanagers become obsessed with trivial details. They focus excessively on how or when the work gets done rather than the end result.
Expect them to give you instructions down to the smallest minutiae. They may force you to account for every minute of your day or every dollar spent.
They Demand Constant Updates
Excessive check-ins are another sign of a micromanager. They want frequent, detailed progress reports on assigned tasks.
Whether face-to-face or through phone, email, or instant messaging, they always want to know what you’re working on. The frequent disruption makes it hard to concentrate.
They Monitor Too Closely
Does your manager seem to magically appear behind you just as you pull up a website? Micromanagers tend to lurk and sneak up on employees when they least expect it.
They also have a habit of stopping by your desk frequently or initiating impromptu meetings. The goal is to catch you idle or off-task.
They Criticize Harshly
Micromanagers rarely offer positive feedback. Instead, they focus on the negatives and give excessive criticism.
They may pick apart your work, leadership style, processes, communication skills, and other behaviors. You start to feel like nothing you do is right.
They Reject New Ideas
While good managers remain open-minded, micromanagers cling stubbornly to their viewpoints. They reject others’ perspectives and problem-solving approaches.
Don’t expect them to compromise or collaborate. It’s their way or the highway. Any deviation from their method elicits criticism.
Why Does Micromanagement Happen?
Before you can address the problem, it helps to understand what motivates micromanagers. Their controlling tendencies usually stem from:
1. Fear of losing power – By keeping a tight grip on operations, micromanagers maintain authority. Delegating means relinquishing control.
2. Lack of trust – Micromanagers may have been burned in the past by employees who didn’t deliver. They try to prevent it from happening again.
3. Desire for perfection – Their exceptionally high standards and deep attention to detail fuel the need to control quality.
4. Personal insecurities – Their meddling may be an attempt to compensate for inadequacies.
5. Misplaced intentions – Some micromanagers think their hands-on approach helps, not realizing how it slows progress.
Understanding what drives the behavior can help you empathize and communicate better. But it doesn’t excuse the damage that micromanagement causes.
5 Ways to Deal With a Micromanaging Boss
If your boss exhibits micromanaging behaviors, don’t suffer in silence. Respectfully address the situation using these strategies:
1. Clarify Expectations
Set clear expectations around goals, responsibilities, processes, and communication. Leave no room for ambiguity about who is accountable for what.
Present it professionally:
“To make sure we’re aligned, let’s clarify our roles. I’m responsible for overseeing the website redesign from start to finish. I’ll provide daily progress updates via email. Does that work for you?”
2. Highlight Your Competence
Demonstrate you can produce excellent work independently. Meet all deadlines, communicate proactively, and share successes.
3. Remind Them to Delegate
If they start to creep into your responsibilities, politely remind your boss that you own the task.
“I appreciate you wanting to help, but I’d like to take the lead on this project to gain experience managing a website redesign from start to finish.”
4. Request More Autonomy
Ask for more independence, while reassuring them you’ll meet expectations.
“I’m feeling ready to own more of the website redesign project myself. I’ll continue to provide daily updates, but can we try having more autonomy over execution details? I’m confident I can deliver an exceptional end product.”
5. Involve Your Manager’s Boss
For persistent micromanagers, loop in their manager. Discuss how it’s impacting your work so the higher-up can address it.
“I wanted to share some challenges I’m having with my manager’s very hands-on approach. It’s hindering my productivity and growth. I’m hoping you can speak with them to create more autonomy for me.”
7 Ways to Handle a Micromanaging Coworker
A peer who micromanages you poses a different dynamic than a boss since you lack authority over them. But these tactics can help:
1. Clarify Your Role
Define your responsibilities versus your coworkers’ so it’s clear who owns what tasks.
“Just to be sure, I’m the lead on Project A and you’re lead on Project B, right? Let’s each take point on our respective projects.”
2. Limit Access
Don’t allow them access to your calendar, invoices, emails, or other information they could use to monitor and criticize you. Politely refer requests to your mutual manager instead.
3. Address Oversteps Immediately
When your coworker overreaches into your domain, kindly but firmly redirect them.
“Thanks for weighing in, but I was assigned Project A so I’ll take it from here. I’ll let you know if I need anything.”
4. Reject Unsolicited Feedback
Don’t acknowledge or act on unsolicited criticism. Deflect it back onto the other person.
“I appreciate you taking an interest in Project A, but I have it handled. How are things coming along for you on Project B?”
5. Loop in Your Boss
Keep your manager informed if your colleague tries to control your work. Ask them to speak to the coworker about respecting roles and boundaries.
6. Limit One-on-One Meetings
Decline offers to meet alone with the person. Suggest including your mutual boss or another peer so there are witnesses.
“Let’s invite Jenny and Dan to join our discussion about Project A. I think they’ll have some good insights to share.”
7. Be Firm and Consistent
Stay professional and firm each time you reinforce boundaries. Eventually, the coworker should get the message that you won’t be micromanaged.
If these tactics fail, you may need your manager or HR to mediate. But stick to business reasons and avoid personal attacks.
Tips for Communicating With a Micromanager
How you communicate can make or break your efforts to manage up or set boundaries. Follow these tips when interacting with micromanagers:
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Remain calm and professional – Don’t let your resentment or annoyance show. Taking the high ground preserves your credibility.
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Use “I” statements – Explain how their behavior specifically impacts you and your work. Don’t make accusations.
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Focus on solutions – After raising concerns, pivot quickly to suggestions that will improve the situation.
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Give them some control – Breadcrumbs of autonomy, like allowing them to choose a deadline for your progress report, can help ease micromanagers into delegating bigger things.
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Offer reassurance – Provide regular updates and encourage their feedback so they feel involved and informed.
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Enlist an ally – Get
Create a position of strength before having the big conversation
Eventually, you are going to want to talk to your boss about how you feel. It’s really not healthy to work for a micromanager in the long term. I did it for far too long and it hurt me. The problem is, too many of us have this conversation when we’re in a weak position. We explode when a project has gone off the rails or after we’ve been criticized for doing poor work or for not providing enough visibility. We wait and wait and wait and then finally have the discussion when we can’t take it anymore – when we’re at our weakest. This is exactly the opposite of what you should do.
My recommendation is to start by building credibility with your boss. Use the tips I’ve shared. Help your boss, bring her closer, find a few wins, and then in a calm, positive moment, have the conversation.
Bring your boss closer … earlier
Instead of proving yourself, you should be focusing on helping your boss be successful. The more successful your boss is, the less fear she will have. The less fear she has, the less she will seek to control everything. Instead of pushing a micromanaging boss away, I’ll bring him closer. There are a few simple things you can do to bring your boss closer without making your own life miserable. If I’m about to undertake a new project, I might do the following things:
Set up early collaboration sessions with your boss to build the objectives and plan.
Involve your boss in building the skeleton or outline of a presentation or document.
Proactively give updates on a daily or weekly basis depending on the scope of the project.
Proactively review all materials with your boss before sharing them broadly
By collaborating with your boss earlier and more frequently, your projects are much more likely to be successful. You’re far less likely to get way off track or be surprised by negative feedback in the later stages of the initiative. You may feel you shouldn’t have to do this at your level, or that this robs you of your independence. I would argue that this is the optimal path for the scenario you’re in. It’s the best path to success. The more success you enjoy, the more opportunities you’ll have to improve your situation. If success isn’t worth this level of sacrifice, or the situation is unbearably negative, you should start looking for a new job.
MY BOSS IS A MICROMANAGER | How to deal with micromanagers
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