Managing the Argumentative Employee: A Guide for Leaders

Dealing with an overly argumentative direct report tests the patience of even the most seasoned manager Their combativeness and stubbornness frustrates teammates and slows progress With the right approach, you can turn their contentious attitude around.

First, understand the sources of their behavior. Then, implement targeted strategies to convey expectations and reset the relationship Reach a constructive solution through empathy, directness and accountability.

Follow this step-by-step guide to transform argumentative employees into collaborative team players.

Gather Background Information

Before meeting with the employee, discreetly do some information gathering. Their peers may provide context on situations that trigger stubbornness. Try to pinpoint:

• How long has the contentious behavior occurred? Was there a particular precipitating event?

• What types of conversations typically spark dissent? Meetings, feedback, change initiatives?

• How does the stubbornness manifest itself? Silent defiance passionate arguing condescending lectures?

• What’s the impact on coworkers and the team?

Understanding patterns helps discern the motivations behind their actions. You can then tailor your approach accordingly.

Make an Action Plan

With background knowledge, make a plan for the initial meeting. Set objectives like:

• Establish agreement that their argumentativeness interferes with their effectiveness and relationships.

• Discuss reasons behind their stubborn stance to understand their perspective.

• Provide concrete examples of problematic behaviors and lay out expectations going forward.

• Solicit their input on solutions and agree to regular check-ins.

Mapping out goals keeps the conversation productive and focused on real improvement.

Have a One-on-One Meeting

Schedule a private, in-person sit-down without distractions. Though it may be uncomfortable, avoid email or putting it off. Direct face-to-face dialogue demonstrates the seriousness of the issue.

Set a respectful tone. You aim to illuminate and solve the problem, not attack their character.

Explain the Problem With Specifics

Open the dialogue by framing it as wanting to help them improve and succeed. Provide clear, unemotional feedback focused just on their behavior, not them as a person.

Give specific examples like:

• Arguing with clients instead of working cooperatively to meet needs
• Publicly contesting new initiatives without considering merits
• Refusing tasks or collaborating with peers

Stick to factual descriptions of their disruptive actions and the consequences – don’t label or diagnose their motives.

Have a Two-Way Conversation

Make it a dialogue, not a lecture. Ask the employee to explain their perspective:

• What factors or circumstances contribute to their defiant attitude?

• Do they feel under-valued or harbor resentments?

• How would they characterize their behavior and impact on the team?

Listen sincerely to understand their reasoning and experiences. Identifying root causes paves the way for meaningful change.

Find Common Ground Around Goals

Despite differences, appeal to shared goals you both have for their career growth and team cohesion:

• Highlight their talents that provide value to the team when applied constructively.

• Note how less divisiveness and more cooperation benefits you both.

• Emphasize wanting to help them improve and thrive in their role.

Aligning around common ground fosters motivation to improve.

Define Expected Changes in Behavior

Clearly explain the behavioral changes required while inviting their perspectives. Establish guidelines like:

• Debating respectfully without personal attacks

• Advocating for their view without stubborness

• Seeing assignments through with diligence once decided

• Limiting public disagreement by having open discussions beforehand

Ask for their input on outlining expectations. What changes seem feasible? Is there anything they need from you?

Mutual contribution yields greater buy-in and follow through.

Explore Strategies as a Team

Guide the employee in identifying tactics to demonstrate improvement:

• Counting to 10 before reacting to avoid knee-jerk arguments

• Approaching colleagues positively by emphasizing shared goals

• Committing to test initiatives before dismissing them

• Requesting regular feedback on their behavior

Developing strategies together fosters empowerment and accountability.

Schedule Follow-Up Check-Ins

Before concluding, set future meetings to review their progress. Bi-weekly or monthly touchpoints show you take their growth seriously.

Use these 1:1s to assess what’s working and obstacles still arising. Offer resources like mentorship or training to help them achieve expectations.

Ongoing dialogue conveys your continued commitment to their improvement.

Address Lack of Progress

Despite best intentions, their argumentative tendencies may persist. First investigate why:

• Do they feel the expectations are unclear or unrealistic? Refine guidelines accordingly.

• Are outside pressures or skill deficits hindering change? Offer help navigating challenges.

• Does their behavior stem from a personality clash or opposition to your leadership? It may be an insurmountable compatibility issue warranting a role change.

If they remain resistant after multiple meetings and support interventions, formal disciplinary steps may become unavoidable. But make this a last resort.

Restore Team Relationships

Even if behavior improves, strained team dynamics may linger. Help reconcile and rebuild relationships:

• Have the employee acknowledge their past actions and impact on peers.

• Allow colleagues to express grievances and frustration constructively.

• Facilitate team-building activities focused on conflict resolution.

With apologies, empathy and renewed commitment to collaboration, trust can be repaired.

Manage Ongoing Occasional Dissent

Relapses in defiant attitudes are not uncommon. If flare-ups occur:

• Intervene quickly to defuse rather than let tensions escalate.

• Remind of progress made and desire to get back on track.

• Refocus on why their role and team relationships matter.

With resilience and encouragement, lapses can become learning opportunities on the path to change.

The Rewards of Improved Behavior

Skillfully addressing argumentativeness has abundant upsides:

• A more positive, thriving employee who feels heard and supported

• Healthier team dynamics with less friction and greater trust

• Increased innovation from productive debate, not obstinance

• A confident manager able to transform conflict into cooperation

While uncomfortable initially, tackling destructive behaviors ultimately enriches work environments. With patience and clarity, leaders can guide argumentative employees to reach their highest potential.