A work-related issue pops up and leaves you seeing red. You hit reply on your email or open a new message and begin to write an angry email in response, typing the first thing that comes to mind. However, you remember it’s crucial to maintain professionalism despite your emotions, but how?
That’s when you turn to Google for answers. “How do you write an angry email professionally?” You’re in good company, it’s a question we’ve all asked ourselves at one point or another.
The next time you find yourself in this position, remember, you can still get your points across while doing so in a manner that won’t end up with a reprimand from your boss or a meeting with HR. Any time you feel inclined to send an angry email, follow this simple process to check your mindset, evaluate the best form of communication, and craft an effective professional message.
- Think About It First.
- Take Time to Calm Down.
- Clearly State the Intent of Your Email.
- Keep it, well, Professional.
- Include Some Positive Reinforcement.
- Offer Possible Solutions.
- Open the Lines of Communication.
- Sign Off with a Kind Message.
How To Respond To An Email Professionally – Answering Negative ( Rude ) Emails
Take a breath
Just like it’s not best to send a text message or respond in an argument when angry, it’s also not best to write an email when angry — especially at work. With emotions running on high, you’re more likely to respond based on your initial feelings and say something you might later regret.
Before composing your message, give yourself some room to breathe. You may wish to get up from your desk and walk around for a few moments, complete a one-minute meditation, or simply distract yourself for a while. Just know that you don’t have to respond right away when you start seeing red.
A delay of 30 minutes an hour, two hours, or more lets you reapproach the situation with a clear head. This can truly save you from sending a message that could leave a negative mark on your professional record and damage relationships with colleagues, clients, or stakeholders.
Email templates
Using an email template to address your concerns can help you remain objective and professional. Below are two templates you can customize based on your situation:
Ask yourself what you’re trying to achieve
“The way I handle email communication when I am angry is to ask myself what am I trying to achieve,” says Emma Debeljak, who has worked with B2B and B2C organizations worldwide and across industries, from Spain to Hong Kong. “This is how we operate when we’re not angry and defining a clear answer to this question—writing it down even—can help you get centered even when you’re worked up and can guide your email towards productivity as opposed to venting.”
Write, revise, and send in the morning
According to Aleksandar Hrubenja, Co-Founder of Modern Gentleman, the most important thing is not to act in a rush. “Acknowledge that you’re angry, and be extra careful with the send button. Angry email stays there permanently, and it’s important not to be in the heat of the moment when making permanent traces,” he suggests.
Read what you wrote several times before you send it and if there’s time, you should sleep over it and continue the email conversation in the morning. “The heat will cool down, and you’ll be able to see how much of a problem the boss, colleague, or the situation poses.”
How to write an angry email professionally
Here are some steps you can follow to write a professional email that addresses your concerns:
1. Give yourself time to calm down
Before you start writing your email, give yourself some time to calm down. Waiting a few hours or until the next day can help you process the situation. It can also provide you with the opportunity to reassess what happened and consider other points of view. Consider talking about the situation with a family member or friend who doesnt work for the same company you do.
Verbalizing your thoughts can help you determine why youre upset and if you have a valid reason to be concerned. You can also try a relaxing activity, such as going for a walk or reading a book, to redirect your focus.
2. Create a rough draft
If you still feel compelled to address the situation after youve given yourself time to calm down, start by writing a rough draft that outlines your key points. Consider what the other person did to upset you, how it made you feel and how you and they could handle a similar situation better in the future.
Make sure you write the rough draft somewhere private, such as on a mobile notepad app or on a piece of paper at home. This can help you process what you want to say without the risk of a coworker finding and reading your draft.
3. Make your main point clear
When you sit down to type your email, start with a professional greeting, such as Dear Mr. Smith or Hello Mr. Smith. Then, clearly state the main reason youre sending the email. Keep this section concise to ensure the recipient understands the topic you wish to discuss.
For example, if one of your team members missed an important project deadline, simply share that youre emailing them to discuss why they were unable to complete their portion of the project in a timely manner. Try to use neutral language to improve the likelihood that the recipient of your message is receptive.
4. Focus on the facts
Instead of making assumptions about the situation, focus on relevant facts. This can help you remain objective and professional throughout your correspondence. Only include details you know are true. If you plan to include constructive criticism in your email, make sure you focus on the action, behavior or outcome instead of critiquing the individual person.
For example, if one of your team members completes a subpar project, you might share that the work they produced doesnt meet the companys expectations. While this comment is clear and direct, it focuses on the work that the individual produced instead of on the person. This may make the recipient more open to accepting your feedback.
5. Be empathetic
Consider how the recipient of your email may feel about the situation. Trying to understand why they behaved a certain way or made a specific decision can help you connect with them in a more meaningful way.
You can also offer them some positive reinforcement to let them know that while youre concerned about this one specific situation, theyre still a valuable member of your team. Approaching the conversation with empathy and respect can motivate the recipient to make better choices in the future.
6. Provide a suggestion
Consider whether there are any actions the recipient can take to fix or improve things. If there are, include them in your email so they understand what steps they can take to remedy the situation.
For example, if the recipient missed an important HR training session, you could suggest they reach out to your HR manager to get a copy of the presentation and fill out any required documents. If you want to prevent the same action from happening in the future, you can provide the recipient of your email with suggestions for how to behave in a similar situation.
For example, if they were openly critiquing an important work-related decision you made by discussing it with your colleagues, you might ask them to reach out to you directly if they have questions about your decision-making process in the future, so you can have a professional conversation.
7. Be open to having a conversation
Let the recipient know that youre open to having a conversation about the situation, if they wish to discuss it further. Be open to meeting with them in person, scheduling a video call or talking on the phone. During your conversation, actively listen to what they have to say and look for opportunities to work together to find a solution. This can help you develop a mutual understanding and a stronger sense of respect for each other.
8. Use a kind and professional closing
Finally, let the recipient of your email know you hope to work through the situation together. Keep your tone positive, so they feel motivated to find a solution. Then, use a professional closing, such as Sincerely or Thank you followed by your name. Maintaining proper etiquette throughout your email can make you seem more professional and approachable. It may also make it easier for the recipient to have open and honest conversations with you in the future.
Email examples
Template 1
Here is a template you can use to address your concerns via email after a colleague makes a mistake:
Dear [recipients name],
Im emailing you to discuss [briefly mention the situation here]. While I acknowledge [state a potential reason or factor that may have influenced the situation], [state the specific behavior or action] is unacceptable in the workplace. In the future, I would appreciate it if you could [provide a solution]. I hope you understand my point of view and that we can move forward professionally.
Thank you,
[Your name]
Template 2
Here is a template you can use to professionally discuss a situation that upset you via email:
Dear [recipients name],
Im emailing you to discuss [briefly mention the situation here]. When this happened, it surprised me because [calmly state why this event surprised you]. While I acknowledge that [state a potential reason or factor that may have influenced the other persons decision], Im hoping you can provide more details to help me understand your decision and what steps I can take to [state your desired result or something you would like to achieve] in the future. I appreciate you taking the time to discuss this with me.
Thank you,
[Your name]
Below are two examples of emails that address the senders concerns while remaining professional:
Example 1
Here is an example you can reference, if you need to address a mistake one of your colleagues made:
Dear Donna,
Im emailing you to discuss your absence at this mornings introductory meeting with our new client, Circle Group Company. While I acknowledge that youve been working on several large projects recently, and I know you didnt miss the meeting on purpose, not being present for client meetings reflects poorly on our company.
In the future, I would appreciate it if you could respond to the calendar invites I send out, so I know whether we can expect to have you join us. This would also help me determine what materials I need to bring to client meetings and whether we need to reschedule. I hope you understand my point of view and that we can move forward professionally.
Thank you,
Jennifer
Example 2
Here is an example you can reference to ask for more information after experiencing a disappointing situation in the workplace:
Dear Richard,
Im emailing you to discuss the project assignments we received during todays team meeting. When you shared that I am working as an assistant on the Notre Dame project instead of a lead, it surprised me because in our previous conversations you mentioned wanting to elevate my role for this assignment.
While I acknowledge that plans change and youre responsible for assigning each team member a role they can excel in, I am hoping you can provide more details to help me understand your decision and what steps I can take to work as a lead on projects in the future. I appreciate you taking the time to discuss this with me.
Thank you,
Maxwell
FAQ
How do you professionally express anger?
- Take a time out. When you start to feel the anger welling up inside you, step out of the office for 10min and get some fresh air. …
- Think before you speak. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything. …
- Slow down. …
- Seek help.
How do you write a negative email?
- Gather facts. Before sending a difficult email, gather all the relevant facts. …
- Review company policies. …
- Decide if an email is the best channel. …
- Choose the correct tone. …
- Share the news at the beginning. …
- Give an explanation. …
- Apologize if you are at fault. …
- Offer a resolution.
How do you write a confrontational email?
- Use Very Straightforward Language. With a situation like this, you are trying to avoid making things worse. …
- Start Confrontation Emails with Praise. …
- Explain the Issues Without Assigning Blame. …
- Don’t Write in Anger and Always Offer to Talk. …
- Have a Plan in Place for the Response.
How do you respond to an angry or emotional email professionally?
- Read the email thoroughly. …
- Give yourself some space. …
- Recognize and address negative emotions. …
- Create two drafts. …
- Maintain respect with professional language. …
- Send your email. …
- Name-calling. …
- Addressing demands.
